Depression has become a worldwide stalker:
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The total estimated number of people living with
depression worldwide increased by 18.4% between 2005 and 2015 to 322 million,
according to the World Health
Organization. Nearly half of people living with depression live in the more
highly-populated global areas...
Another study (2013) reported similar findings:
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...depressive illness is the disease with the
second heaviest burden on society, with around one in 20 people
suffering...[This] burden increased by 37.5% between 1990 and 2010...(The
Guardian)
What can account for this dramatic rise? Globalization has
improved the economic lot of many. Broad assortments of psychotherapies have
proliferated, along with a massive self-help industry and support groups.
However, there is no solid evidence that any of these interventions have been
able to check this tsunami. Instead, it seems that both the disease and its
various cures have grown together, perhaps even profiting from a symbiotic
relationship. How?
It seems that the more we attempt to elevate ourselves with
positive affirmations, self-trust, and tokens of success, the more our problems
worsen. King Herod of Israel had reached the top rung of power and influence.
He had welcomed a team of ambassadors from Tyre and Sidon who needed Herod’s
permission to buy Israel’s grain:
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On an appointed day Herod put on his royal
robes, took his seat upon the throne, and delivered an oration to them]. And
the savvy ambassadors began shouting, "The voice of a god, and not of a
man!" Immediately an angel of the Lord struck him down, because he did not
give God the glory, and he was eaten by worms and breathed his last. (Acts 12:21-23)
The ambassadors were shrewd. They understood human nature
and exactly what the king was looking for. He had wanted to be exalted – and
this need is never satisfied – and they were prepared to give Herod this honor.
Clearly, self-exaltation comes at a great price. It did for
Herod, and perhaps also for us. Jesus had been observing the way elite banquet
guests had grabbed the seats of honor for themselves. Jesus warned:
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“For everyone who exalts himself will be
humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."(Luke 14:11)
Perhaps depression and our other woes are the price we are
increasingly paying for the heady drug of self-exaltation. Meanwhile, the major
religions have warned against the dangers of pride and arrogance, and Jesus was
no exception:
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And he [Jesus] said to them [the Pharisees],
"You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your
hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.” (Luke
16:15)
The higher we exalt ourselves, the harder we fall. However,
even more seriously, self-exaltation is a stench before both God and man. Jesus
had often exposed this Pharisaic tendency:
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“They do all their deeds to be seen by others.
For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love
the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings
in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others.” (Matthew 23:5-7)
They were all about self-promotion and their own glory.
While the Pharisees had won the respect of the people, they had lost their own
lives (Matthew 10:39). They had been successful self-promoters, but this
“success” came at the price of self-deception. They had rejected the light of
self-knowledge for the darkness of self-deceit (John 3:19-20), convincing
themselves that they were worthy and righteous before a God.
Self-deception? Inevitably! For self-exaltation to pay its
desired dividends, we have to believe in our self-affirmations that we are
superior and worthy of God’s esteem. However, self-deception is also alienation
from self, others, and reality. It is to establish a parallel “reality” at odds
with the rest of life. It is darkness and confusion and a rejection of the
light of reason so necessary to navigate through life. Such blindness ends in
shipwreck and depression.
We become enslaved to a deadly, unseen form of addiction –
ego boosts. Whether it is addiction to a substance, pornography, or to an
inflated self-esteem, each will dominate our lives. However, the narcissistic
addiction is more deadly since it remains unseen by the addict. But with any addiction,
the more pleasure we derive from it, the more we need it. The more dependent we
become, the less we can enjoy normal pleasures, and the greater the fall when
deprived of our stimulant. When we cannot get our fix, the deeper we sink into
a depressed state, the more desperate we become for the next fix.
As a result, the more porn we imbibe, the less normal sex
will satisfy us. Likewise, the more we depend on our inflated estimation of
ourselves, the less we can tolerate the truth about ourselves. Besides, the
suppressed material is always trying to rise to the surface, like a beach ball,
which resists being submerged. Keeping down the ball and the suppressed
material requires a continual all-consuming struggle, where peace is the first
casualty.
Our inflated self-esteem is related to depression in other
ways. It destroys intimacy, friendship, and creates isolation. In order to
maintain our self-esteem high, we are constantly seeking affirmation for the
false self we have created, like the drug addict seeking his next fix.
Consequently, friends become drugs to fulfill our need. We use them to get what
we want, but no one wants to be used, and, after a while, it begins to feel
that way to them.
As a result, social isolation and loneliness have become a
growing problem, despite the many new outlets for communication. Psychiatrists
Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz cite two “major studies” in this regard.
In the first:
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“McPherson found that between 1985 and 2004, the
number of people with whom the average American discussed ‘important matters’
dropped from three to two. Even more stunning, the number of people who said
that there was no one with whom they discussed important matters tripled: in
2004, individuals without a single confidant now made up nearly a quarter of
those surveyed” (The Lonely American, 2).
Many explanations are brought forward to explain our growing
isolation. Some cite America’s legendary pioneering spirit and our emphasis on
self-reliance. Others suggest that loneliness is a product of our frenetic
pace. However, these explanations fail to explain the recent nose-dive in
levels of intimacy, since we have always been self-reliant and frenetic! In
addition to this, there is the finding of James Buie that “Depression…for those
born after 1950 is as much as twenty times higher than the incidence rate for
those born before 1910” (Edward Welch, Depression:
A Stubborn Darkness, 113).
Why? Perhaps it’s because we live in a society, which has
consistently pushed the “believe in yourself” drug – the embrace of the new narcissism.
Consequently, we have been encouraged to feed ourselves high doses of positive
affirmations and to deny the negative. However, when the negative can no longer
be denied, we seek the psychologist who reinforces our dysfunctional quest.
They teach us how to more effectively believe in ourselves using various
visualizations and self-affirmations. They merely renew our delusional
self-hope and self-trust. However, this only reinforces our schizophrenic
conflict to believe in ourselves when reality (including our own conscience)
tells us otherwise.
Consequently, we can no longer tolerate any constructive
criticism, any light that might threaten our deceptions. This is especially
true of the criticism we receive from our spouse, who knows us best. Its impact
can be destructive of a marriage. Had we been living in the light, the
criticism would not have threatened us. Instead, we might have appropriately responded,
“You are right, and I need such reminders in order to make the necessary
adjustments.”
Instead, anything that exposes us represents a serious
threat to our perceived well-being and must be extinguished as had been done to
Jesus:
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“The world cannot hate you, but it hates me
[Jesus] because I testify about it that its works are evil.” (John 7:7)
We cannot tolerate the sight of our evil, especially after
our addictive positive affirmations have “convinced” us of our righteousness
and worthiness. Consequently, we live vulnerable and schizoid lives. We know
the truth about ourselves but cannot face it and have condemned ourselves to an
endless struggle to suppress the truth. We have become like King Herod. We know
that we are not God, but we cannot do without the praise. We live in the
shadows, ready to kill any attempt to expose us to the light.
I know what living in the darkness and hating the exposure
is all about. This tension had driven me into decades of depression. Instead, I
needed to see and accept myself as I am, but I could not begin to do so. It
required the assurances of God’s love, forgiveness, and acceptance to teach me
to accept myself, even with my many faults, which I had refused to see:
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So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him,
"If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know
the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)
Increasingly, I am free from the darkness to face the light
of truth. The struggle to prove myself has largely vanished. Beloved by my
Savior, I have found rest. Having the praise of my God, I am no longer addicted
to positive self-talk and praise of men. No longer needing their approval, I am
now set free to give them my love and approval as fellow children of God.
