Sexy in the City

The new New York City public school sex-ed program for 11 years old and up features some sexy visits, like to the local Planned Parenthood offices – just in case you need an abortion and you don’t want your parents to know.

Part of the curriculum includes visiting GoAskAlice.com, a product of the genius of Columbia University. If you are looking for any moral guidance there, you’ll be disappointed. One writer wrote about the permissibility of group sex among couples. Here’s what she got back:

• Dear Reader, You can use your feelings as a gauge — "We all thoroughly enjoy it." That's a pretty positive indicator. Sex among couples has likely gone on since there have been couples, although the "sexual revolution" of the 1960s and 1970s brought an increase in the practice, enjoyment, and acceptance of this and other group sex activities.

In other words, everything is OK among consenting…ah, teenagers. They even have something for everyone – including the joys of phone sex. There is also advice for the virgin who has some concerns and discomforts:

• Since you're a virgin and a woman, you may be feeling discomfort from your hymen. If penetration with fingers is uncomfortable, you can add water-based lube, wait until you're more aroused, and/or tell your boyfriend to slow down or stop! It's difficult, at first, to be open when being intimate, but it's necessary to tell him this so that he can learn how to pleasure you. He probably would want to know if his touch is causing soreness or pain. If you become sore or feel pain, you need to say, "Ouch, that hurts," or "Stop!" and your partner will know to stop. To increase comfort with penetration, your boyfriend can start off with one lubed finger, inserting it gently and slowly. Once you feel comfortable, speed and/or intensity can be increased gradually, or not at all, and/or another finger or two can be added…

If you’re looking for any reasons why it might be preferable to stay a virgin, you won’t find it there. It is all about sexualizing youth, talking about sex as if it can be practiced as casually as drinking a glass of water. Pornography is also OK:

• Many erotic videos are produced (and marketed) to appeal to stereotypically masculine fantasies and desires. Erotic entertainment geared at getting women viewers off is less common. Which is unfortunate, since plenty of gals do enjoy watching sexy images.

There seems to be little concern about the dangers of pornography, as one recent study warned:

• October 20, 2011 (LifeSiteNews.com) – “Recent research indicates that porn use can cause sexual dysfunction by numbing the body’s response to normal sexual pleasure, according to a report published in Psychology Today. Marnia Robinson…explains that the brain can become desensitized to dopamine, the neurotransmitter that activates the body’s reaction to sexual pleasure, through the kind of over-stimulation readily available via the internet’s porn culture.”

“Alice” seems to be dismissive of anything that might interfere with sexual acting out, as long as it’s conducted in medically “safe” ways. For someone wanting to add a second woman in bed alongside of his wife, Alice answered:

• As the song goes, "Come and knock on our door... We've been waiting for you...Where the kisses are hers and hers and his…Three's company too." For many in the bedroom, three (or more) may be a welcomed crowd. For others, two is the better number. Sometimes, just sharing a threesome fantasy with your sexual partner (without actually playing it out) can be fulfilling. You asked whether you should ask your wife if she wants to try a threesome or just let the whole subject ride. Ultimately, that's up to you.

This is the rule of thumb – the one sacred rule – “Ultimately, that's up to you.” Whatever feels right is right – 20 sexual partners, adultery, perhaps even pedophilia, although Alice seems to stop short of advocating anything that might get her in trouble with the law. Nevertheless, this website is clearly the product of our permiscuous age. It shows little concern about tomorrow and the long range impact on children.

Meanwhile, in The Case for Marriage, Linda Waite & Maggie Gallagher sound the alarm about alternative families. For one thing, monogamous marriage provides great protection for the woman:

• A large body of research shows that marriage is much less dangerous for women than cohabitors…1987-88 National Survey of Families and Households: married people are much less likely than cohabiting couples to say that arguments between them and their partners had become physical in the past year (4% of married people compared to 13% of the cohabiting). (155)

Child abuse soars in alternative family structures:

• A preschooler living with one biological parent and one step-parent was forty times more likely to be sexually abused than one living with two natural parents. (159).

Meanwhile, Mayor Bloomberg can’t understand the fuss that parents are making at the prospect of seeing their children further sexualized. Perhaps he’s spent too much time with “Go Ask Alice?”