Could God be a Sadist?

Recently, an atheist asked me, “How do you know that God isn’t a sadist and that his bible is not just one big deception.” Here’s my response:

There are reasons that I believe that God is love. I too, even after coming to Christ, began to wonder if I had been tricked by an evil God. I had struggled with decades of depression and panic attacks that had left me devastated. Consequently, I was having a hard time reconciling my faith in a loving God with my painful experiences.

During these long dark hours I would sometimes envision God having created us for His selfish entertainment. However, one evening, He opened my mind to see that this was not a game or entertainment. Instead, He proved His love by impressing upon me that He had actually suffered and died for my sins. After that, I was never able to regard Him as a detached and uncaring spectator. Instead, I was left with the very vivid impression that He loved me so much that He died for me.

Years later, I studied the historical evidence supporting the resurrection and wrote a little paper on it (http://mannsword.blogspot.com/2010/04/jesus-resurrection-is-historical-fact.html). However, during those years, He did other things to confirm His love for me. Even at church I had felt that I didn’t fit in. People would get up to the microphone and report on the wonderful things that God had been doing for them. During these times, I felt further tormented. My suffering informed me, “God doesn’t love you. If He did, He would have delivered you from your misery.”

Consequently, I was about to flee the church, but then heard an inaudible voice - the only time ever - saying, “just wait a minute.” After several minutes, someone came from behind and embraced with the warmest embrace. I turned around to see who it was and found, to my surprise, that there was no one there. Instantaneously, I knew it was my reassuring Savior.

God revealed Himself in many other ways during those dark years. Eventually, He delivered me from those decades of panic and intense depression, now expecting me to proceed in faith – something I delight in doing.