THE PSYCHOLOGICAL NEED TO BE GRATEFUL: MY RESPONSE TO STOICS WHO BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A RATIONAL BASIS FOR GRATEFULNESS WITHOUT GOD

While most of us acknowledge the connection between gratefulness and psychological well-being, we differ about how to be grateful.

While it is natural and even rational to be grateful for the sun and the rain, if you are a farmer, it is equally natural and rational to be ungrateful for the tornado and the tsunami. This suggests that we are fated to be grateful when things go well and miserable when they go badly.

The same is true if we are grateful for the people in our lives. If they make us feel good and teach us valuable lessons, we are grateful. If they don’t, it is both natural and rational to not feel grateful. Therefore to practice gratefulness when there is nothing for which to be grateful is both irrational, unnatural, and not in accord with wisdom, even if it might momentarily make us feel better.

The Christian understanding is different. We have the resources to feel grateful in the worse of circumstances. Why? We are convinced that our Lord is working everything for our good. Besides, even if we experience the worst forms of victimization, we are convinced that the Lord has everything under His control, and that we will ultimately be with Him in paradise for all eternity.