SELF-ESTEEM VS. SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Self-esteem (SE) and self-acceptance (SA) are polar opposites. While SE is the attempt to believe highly of ourselves, SA is willing to see and acknowledge self as it truly is, warts and all.

Most of us wish that we could accept ourselves as we truly are and not have to struggle to maintain a front, a obsessively manicured exterior. It just takes too much effort and angst.

But how can we accept ourselves when there are parts that we just don't like and are convinced that others will not like? This becomes even more difficult when our feelings about self depend upon how others regard us.

This, of course, makes us painfully dependent upon social approval, an oppressive and unrelenting prison. However, there is a key that will unlock the prison door. It is called "the Good News" of Jesus. Paul had written:

• What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. (Romans 8:31-34 ESV)

If we are beloved by our Savior, what others think about us becomes relatively unimportant. It is His love that decisively defines us. If He loves us, who cares about what others might think.

SA is the definition of freedom. It allows us to laugh at our failures and the opinions of this world. If God accepts us as we are, we can begin to accept ourselves and even others along with their unsightly blemishes. 

SA is not afraid of being seen and known. It no longer has to maintain a facade and run from the truth. It can admit flaws, failures, and face the world in rags.

The assurance of God's love has become my Declaration of Independence from my devotion to proving myself. I had felt threatened and inadequate as a teacher, even feeling that I was a hypocrite as I stood before my students. Satan also condemned me with these thoughts, almost coercing me to hand in my resignation.

However, the Gospel was becoming a reality to me. It taught me that it was no longer about me and my attributes but about His (Galatians 2:20). My successes were no longer my own, and neither were my failures. Instead, I bore the identity of the One who had died for me.

Therefore, when Satan would come knocking, reminding me of how inadequate I am, I had learned to answer:

• Satan, you are entirely correct. I am unworthy to teach the Bible or even to serve my Savior in any capacity. However, He has called me and cleansed me of my sins and ugly blemishes. Consequently, I now belong to Him. Besides, I am glad to be reminded of my unworthiness. This just makes me adore my Savior all the more.

I am now able to pass on this gift of SA to others, but I have to remind them that it is a gift of our Lord. Any secular alternative will prove to be a disappointment.