Chapter 4 PERSONAL EVIDENCE: WHY THE BIBLE IS SO PRECIOUS TO ME

Some say that Christ doesn’t make a difference – that Christians act the same way as others and that Christ doesn’t change lives. However, I know otherwise!

I have found that the Bible contains transforming and empowering wisdom, a wisdom that has brought me all sorts of blessings. For example, anger and hatred are tyrants that override reason and even self-interest. Yet, I knew that hatred is wrong. I even knew that it torments its prey. Nevertheless, it consumed me, as I watched powerlessly against it. Even its “arguments” were persuasive. They felt so right. Hatred placed its own lens over my eyes, and I saw only red.

However, I remembered the Word of God:

·       Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good… Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them… Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:9, 14, 16-21; ESV)

His Word came upon me with such force and conviction that it drove the hatred away, the bully yelping helplessly as it fled. Instead, I was left rejoicing at the great privilege to love others and to “overcome evil with good.”

No wonder Scripture informs us that loving God is about embracing and obeying His teachings:

·       If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. (John 15:10-14)

Keeping His teachings is our cure, our protective shield and the source of blessings. It even rescues us from destruction:

·       Only be strong and very courageous [Joshua], being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. (Joshua 1:7-8)

No wonder that we are instructed to “meditate on it day and night.”

I am a man of many flaws, and they can be deeply troubling. However, I have learned something of even greater significance – that our Lord brings strength out of our ongoing weaknesses, as Paul had learned:

·       Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this [affliction], that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

I too have learned to boast in my weaknesses. They continue to humble me, tromping down my pride, drawing me closer to my Savior through His Word, which ministers so powerfully to me, through His blessed Spirit.

All of this has been made possible by the wisdom of the Living Word of God. Its wisdom has provided me with exactly what I had needed. Here are just a few more examples.

I am always second-guessing myself, wondering, “Did I say the right thing? ...Did I say it with the wrong motives? … Could I have said it more effectively?” Although this perfectionistic preoccupation can promote self-improvement, it can also drive us crazy. I needed to lay it aside before it laid me out, and the Holy Spirit did this for me through applying Scripture to my life:

• I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

What a relief! My failures were no longer my own. They belonged to my Savior who promised that He would work all things for my good (Rom. 8:28), even my worst failures and nightmares, my worst humiliations! I was now free to fail. Not that failures no longer hurt, but I now know who will lift me out of my discouragement (1 Cor. 10:12-13), and He has proved this to me repeatedly. Consequently, Biblical truth allows me to constructively face my challenges without being overwhelmed by them.

We are also self-obsessed with questions of our goodness and worthiness. One of the greatest threats to our psychological well-being is the dread of not being worthy. This might take the form of a deep and abiding sense of shame, insecurity, or inadequacy. We might worry that we are not even worthy of God. Therefore, it is such a relief to realize that none of us are worthy. We are all sinners who need the Savior:

• "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." (Romans 3:10-12)

This had certainly been true of me. Even though I attempted to suppress this truth of my moral inadequacy before God, it would continue to resurface to my great shame. I tried to beat back the ugly truth with self-assertions that I was really a good and loving person. I was engaged in a costly war with myself, and the result was desperation and depression.

Instead of deriving my sense of worthiness or adequacy from myself, I needed to find it from another source, and Scripture informed me that Jesus is that source:

• God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Cor. 5:21)

I could begin to accept the fact that I am entirely unworthy, because, in the eyes of my Savior, I am now entirely righteous. I could now face the once-shaming truths about myself and take responsibility for my behavior, because I have been assured of my ultimate worth before Him!

My wife can now charge me with being insensitive, and I can readily apologize. We’re restored! Others can regard me negatively, but that’s okay because I am now defined, not by what others might think, but by what my Savior thinks. Yes, it still hurts, but it no longer devastates.

For the longest time, I had been feeling condemned. Even after Christ came into my life, I still had that sense. My feelings were so forceful that everything else – even Scripture – appeared as merely hollow words in comparison. I felt that even God condemned me! Finally, however, Scripture broke through, took hold of my self-contempt and torn it apart, like a lion tearing apart red meat. What a consolation it has been to learn that:

• Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

This taught me conclusively that my feelings of condemnation and rejection had nothing to do with God rejecting me, but just my own aberrant reactions! I could now laugh at these once terrifying feelings, knowing that they have nothing to do with my ultimate status! It’s like receiving a letter saying that there has been a warrant issued for your arrest. However, upon reading it more closely, you find that the letter is actually addressed to someone else.

Many say, “Well, I’m glad Christ worked for you, but many find consolation through psychotherapy.” It didn’t work for me. I had seen five highly recommended psychologists, and each left me worse off than I was before.

Yes, they all affirmed that I was “okay,” even superior, but I could never believe them, at least, not at the core of my being. I knew what my feelings were telling me, and they talked with a greater authority than the psychologists. I just knew I wasn’t “okay.”

Their affirmations rolled off my back as if it was made of Teflon. Perhaps this was because I had been giving myself false affirmations all my life. I told myself I was the greatest but actually felt that I was the least. After a while, these affirmations became no more than an addiction. I needed them but got little out of them. However, having believed them – and this distorted my thinking and perceptions - they alienated me from reality, wisdom, and honest relationship. Because I perceived the world through my distorted self-affirmations, I also regarded others through this grid. They were either superior or inferior to me. If they were seen as “superior,” I resented them. If “inferior,” I disdained them.

However, these affirmations bore little resemblance to reality, while I subsequently found that the Biblical affirmations brought me in touch with a deeper reality. Now, perceiving myself as an object of God’s mercy, I began to regard others with mercy.

Besides, our sense of okay-ness requires more than the affirmation of other people. They all say different things, and every experience - every success and every failure – sings a different song. Which was I to believe? Therefore, to base my worth on either the opinions of others or on my socially approved accomplishments meant that my worth was like the stock market – booming, crashing, and the cause of constant instability and insecurity.

Besides, if my well-being depended on the opinions of others, I would resent them when they failed to project the “right” opinions of me. This would also place enormous pressure on them.

Not only does Scripture tell us what to believe, it tells us what to avoid. It is not simply that certain acts are regarded as “sin.” These acts also destroy. Sin is worse than eating junk food. The latter just destroys the body. Sin destroys everything about us. It contaminates our thinking and passions (Rom. 1:21-32). For one thing, as a result of sin, we carry around unresolved guilt and shame. We even project our shame and self-contempt on others, convinced that others regard us in the same way we feel about ourselves. However, Scripture relieves us of these blinding burdens:

• If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. (1 John 1:9-10)

Instead, we often try to cover over this problem with a variety of palliatives – successes, sex, drugs, popularity. However, there is nothing that gives the relief and cleansing the way that confession does.

What makes the affirmations of Scripture so powerful – so life transforming? For one thing, they illuminate what had been shadowy and confusing. In the hand of the Holy Spirit, Scripture tore me down so it could build me up on a solid foundation. It penetrated the blind spots created by my defensive mechanisms.

Once I began to understand myself in the light of Scripture, I found that I began to understand others. With the assurance of God’s love and forgiveness, I could begin to face myself. As I saw my needs and insecurities – I had previously run from these and denied them – I could also see those of other people. As I began to face my denials and rationalizations, I began to understand the same defensive maneuverings I saw in others. As I received God’s compassion for me, I could more readily extend it to others.

While Scripture is foolishness and contemptible to the one whose eyes haven’t been opened (1 Cor. 2:14), it is the scalpel in the hand of the Holy Spirit. It cuts deeply to remove malignant tumors (Heb. 4:12) – attitudes and ideas that fail to accord with holiness. Such cuts are always painful (Heb. 12:5-11), but they identify and remove cancers that threaten well-being. They expose jealousy. However, they also provide the perfect antidote:

• All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future--all are yours. (1 Cor. 3:21-22)

In light of God’s assurances that He wants to eternally give us the world, jealousy had to take a back seat. And I had been jealous, even of the spiritual successes of others, convinced that they would receive heavenly reward and recognition, and I wouldn’t. However, Scripture assures us that all of God’s people are one, and “all things” would be ours. We have become joint heirs with our Savior (Rom. 8:17).

This is just what I needed to know. This truth stomped all the vitality out of my jealousy. I now rejoice as others rejoice!

Through the Scriptures, I have even come to know my Savior in a more personal way. On top of my decades of serious depression, I began to experience panic attacks. These left me utterly devastated. I was so tormented that I could barely carry on a conversation or even read the Bible. I could hardly make it through the day, and to believe that God loved me was beyond my grasp.

However, despite my profound doubts, I had no other place to turn. So I would continue to make feeble attempts at prayer and Bible reading. But even when I succeeded at reading the Bible, I could only understand the simplest statements.

Nevertheless, on numerous occasions, God spoke to me. For example, on one occasion, while reading the phrase, “And God heard him,” a light exploded upon my tormented mind. The depression and panic were instantly driven away. I looked for them, but they were nowhere to be found.

Nonetheless, they returned on the following day, but something had changed. I knew that God had also heard me and that He would keep on hearing me! I therefore knew that I was in His hands, despite my pathetic situation.

The Lord continued to reveal Himself to me in this manner over the next year, but these transformative experiences ceased entirely 35 years ago. I wish I could say that I had mastered the technique to bring on these electrifying encounters, but there is no technique for them, just the sovereign all-knowing workings of my Savior.

Indeed, the Lord continues to speak to me through His Word, but not in such a dramatic way. Why not? He prefers us to walk by faith and not by sight or by miraculous visitations (2 Corinthians 5:7), and I now trust that He knows what is best for us.

Westerners have invented a new god, a god who is non-judgmental and non-punitive. Momentarily, this god might feel comfortable. However, once we have suffered victimization, our thoughts turn to justice, even revenge. Therefore, it is so liberating to know that we have a God who cares deeply about justice:

• If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink” [ Proverbs 25]…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:18-21)

It is only because we have the assurance that God will bring justice (also through the legal systems He has ordained – Rom. 13:1-4) that we can devote ourselves to love. It is also because we know the undeserved love of God for us! Without this knowledge, revenge would become a way of life.

When I read about the estimated 170,000 Christians being murdered yearly simply because they are Christians, I want to grab a machine gun or suicide belt and right the wrongs. But my Lord informs me that He has a better way. He’ll deal with it! Instead, I should pray, love my enemies, and address the wrongs with righteous means. How liberating and personally enhancing!

This represents just a small sampling of the ways that God and His truth have infiltrated to bring us new life. Volumes can be written on this subject. Jesus had taught:

• "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)

Not only has He set us free from sin and its various penalties, He has also set us free from so many things that have kept us in prison – fears, lusts, rationalizations, denials, addiction to self-affirmations, and many forms of self-deceptions.

From where does such wisdom come? I have become convinced that it must come from God through His Word.

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However, the Bible is more than just a book of wisdom. It is far more. It is the vehicle of the Holy Spirit, the power of God for salvation (Romans 1:16) and also for sanctification (2 Corinthians 3, 4).

I’m somewhat reluctant to take this a step further, but I feel that I must. Sometimes, the Spirit works through the book He has authored in the most profound and unimaginable ways. This natural skeptic has had a series of unforgettable encounters through the Scriptures, but let me prepare you for this.

The last encounter I had had was more than 30 years ago. They are not part of the standard Christian diet. Instead, of walking by miracles, we are instructed to walk by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7). However, I had been seriously depressed for decades. Perhaps the Lord knew that I needed more than others in order to sustain my faith and even my life.

On top of my depression, I was visited by years of panic attacks that left me dysfunctional. Even praying and reading the Bible were activities I could barely sustain. Often, I was only capable of lying in bed with my Bible resting upon my belly as I longed for five minutes of sleep. At other times, I could read, even though I was capable of only an elementary understanding of the Word.

However, on a number of occasions, the Word became miraculously alive. On one occasion, I read, “And the Lord heard him.” A veritable explosion of light illuminated my distressed mind. The depression and panic were gone. I tried to find these oppressors, but they were not to be found. Joy unspeakable filled my heart.

By the next day, my oppressors returned, but something was different. I KNEW that the Lord had heard me, and that I was safe.  

This happened on several occasions, until they stopped completely. Why had they stopped? I think that that Lord knew that I no longer needed them. Instead, I was now to walk by faith and memory and not by feelings.

Nevertheless, the Spirit still illuminates me with His Word, even though not as before. I can now even thank Him for my afflictions because, through them, He has given me a precious treasure:

Psalm 119:71-72 It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces.