REJECTION AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE

We are social creatures. Consequently, when rejected, we feel rejected; when not accepted, we feel that we are unacceptable.

Rejection can be so painful, that we might even run from the possibility of relationships. Cognitive-Behavioral Psychologist, Albert Ellis, affirmed this:

·       People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.

To be human is to suffer the pain of rejection. This also pertains to those who have been massively successful. Actor Al Pacino claimed:

·       At this point in my career, I don't have to deal with audition rejections. So I get my rejection from other things. My children can make me feel rejected. They can humble you pretty quick.

Many attach a positive spin on the experience of rejection. Along with many others, Sylvester Stallone emphasized the benefits of rejection:

·       “I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.”

Nevertheless, the experience of rejection is painful. Actor Liam Neeson has given us an overview of the entertainment industry, which he calls “the game of rejection”:

·       For every successful actor or actress, there are countless numbers who don't make it. The name of the game is rejection. You go to an audition and you're told you're too tall or you're too Irish or your nose is not quite right. You're rejected for your education, you're rejected for this or that and it's really tough.

Although John Lithgow had had a successful acting career, he still counseled people away from “a career full of rejection”:

·       I tell young people, including my own kids, don't do this, it's too difficult. It's a career full of rejection, disappointment and failure. It's murderously hard on the ego. Don't become an actor.

However, we can encounter rejection from any career or relationship. Therefore, to avoid the possibility of rejection is to avoid life itself. This leads us to the question, “How can I find self-acceptance in a world that rejects me?”

We are told that we are “deplorables” and should be stripped of employment or business if we hold biblical views, which are now regarded as “bigotry.” Our Christian views are routinely censored or scorned by the media, universities, and social media. Consequently, we are now beginning to feel rejected and demeaned by our nation, employers, and even our community. As a result, many are becoming stealth Christians, while others have clothed themselves with the beliefs of the surrounding culture.

How then do we stand and maintain a sense of self-acceptance, when others refuse to accept us? This is an issue that the Bible often addresses. King David had cried out:

·       But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me… (Psalm 22:6-7 ESV)

It is not hard to feel like a worm when we are treated as if we are a worm. However, there are many Biblical remedies for this, and on these must we meditate:

REJECTION IS INEVITABLE. Paul warned that all of us who desire to live for Christ will be persecuted (2 Timothy 3:12). Jesus warned us that that since He had been persecuted, we have to prepare ourselves for the same:

·       “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.” (John 15:18-20)

WE WILL BE REWARDED WHEN REJECTED. Jesus promised:

·       “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:10-12)

If you haven’t experienced persecution yet, give it some time. It can make us feel dehumanized and worm-like. Therefore, we need to meditate on our blessedness.

WE RECEIVE THE STRENGTH OF GOD IN OUR VULNERABILITY: The way up is actually the way down:

·       But he [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

AFFLICTION SHOULD TURN US TO THE SCRIPTURES: If the world loves us, we will not turn to the comfort that can only come from God:

·       Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word…It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. (Psalm 119:67, 71)

When we are accepted by the world, it is less likely that we will seek God’s acceptance and His counsel.

WE NEED NO LONGER VIEW OURSELVES THROUGH THE EYES OF OTHERS: It is God’s love that now defines us:

·       I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Consequently, when I am rejected, I remind myself that it is Christ who they ultimately reject. Since I am buried in Christ, they can no longer see the real me (1 Corinthians 2:15).

WE CAN BE ASSURED THAT CHRIST STILL LOVES US: If He loved us while we were His enemies, how much more now that the price has been paid, and we are now His friends!

·       God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. (Romans 5:8-10)

If God loves us, we need not be destabilized by the rejection of others. If God is for me, who can be against me (Romans 8:31-32)! Besides, He alone sees who we really are (1 Samuel 16:7), while men, at best, can only judge superficially.

REJECTION STILL HURTS BUT IT CAN’T HARM. Knowing that our identity is buried in Christ and that we are clothed in His righteousness, we also know that insults cannot destroy us. We already know and accept that we are just undeserving servants (Romans 11:35), according to Jesus:

·       “So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’” (Luke 17:10)

If we know this, we also know that we need not defend ourselves. Nothing that the world can tell us will blindside us.

THE LORD WILL DEFEND OUR INTEGRITY. He will bless us in the presence of our enemies to their shame (Psalm 23:5; 31:19)

·       He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. (Psalm 37:6)

When God accepts us, we can begin to accept ourselves and no longer depend on the acceptance of others, those blinded by their own sins. As Jesus had taught, we shall know the truth, and it will set us free (John 8:31-32). We will feel the sting of rejection but not its sledgehammer.