THANKSGIVING FOR THE WORRIED MIND

University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky has written that gratitude (thankfulness) is an important ingredient for our well-being:

·       One way to do this is with a “gratitude journal” in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful – from mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible. (Time Magazine)

It’s undeniable that gratitude and the positive thinking that accompanies it will lift the mood. If you doubt it, just do a little thought experiment. Meditate on a painful rejection. Then meditate about someone who loves you. Different set of feelings, right?

However, we are also truth-seeking beings. It is therefore difficult to take comfort in the one person who loves you when the rest of the world rejects you. Likewise, it’s difficult to be grateful that “your peonies are in bloom” if you are terminally ill and have no visitors.

In other words, we don’t have the ability to manipulate our thought life without limit in hope of obtaining joyful feelings, at least, not for long. Reality imposes certain constrains upon our hopes and desires.

Consequently, the “gratitude journal” might yield some immediate positive results, but if we aren’t convinced that we have something to be grateful about, the journal will fall to the wayside along with many other self-help interventions.

Instead, gratitude is a powerful force if we are convinced that there is a rational basis for gratefulness. Therefore, if we are terminally ill but are convinced that our sins are forgiven and we are going to heaven, we have a solid and unshakable basis for gratitude.

In conjunction with gratefulness, Lyubomirsky suggests “Thank a [your] mentor”:

·       If there’s someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life’s crossroads, don’t wait to express your appreciation – in detail and, if possible, in person.

This can mean a lot to a “mentor,” and you will probably take great pleasure in seeing how much it might mean to him/her. However, this suggestion also has its limitations. You will not continue to derive that positive payoff by thinking of your mentor. It’s like listening to your favorite piece of music over and over. Eventually, it  loses its effect.

Perhaps we can stretch things a bit and include many others into this category of “mentor” or others for whom we are thankful. However, if begin to express gratefulness, when we really aren’t grateful, we will probably begin to feel like a hypocrite. After all, we would be using another person in a disingenuous way for our own emotional well-being.

Of course, we do this type of thing all the time and justify it, telling ourselves, “Well, I’m not hurting anybody. In fact, I’m making them feel good about themselves.”

This is not entirely true. When we act deceptively, we know it, and this undermines the very purpose of our “virtuous” deception – to feel better about ourselves. Besides, people aren’t such fools. They can sense our manipulations and will feel uncomfortable with them.

Instead, we must be genuine. However, there is a way to be genuine and continuously thankful at the same time. If we are convinced that we have a God who loves us and will never leave us and is working all things for our benefit, we can be genuinely grateful:

·       And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:15 ESV)

How are we to derive this peace of Christ? One answer is through thanksgiving:

·       Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice…The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

I rejoice because I have so much to be thankful for in the Lord. Paul therefore prayed that we:

·       …may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:18-19)

I am learning that His love for me is able to address all of my needs in full. This knowledge, combined with the knowledge of my unworthiness (Luke 17:10; Romans 5:8-10), continues to lead me to prayer.

I have never been able to achieve anything by mind control. My overriding tendency to worry laughs at my feeble attempts to control my anxious thoughts. I don’t have what it takes. That’s why I need to pray to the One who is sufficient to answer my worries. However, it seems that this passage (Philippians 4:6-7) also requires that I pray with thanksgiving. Even Jesus gave thanks when He prayed. (Matthew 14:19; John 11:41). For what should I be thankful? For everything; for all the good I’ve received (James 1:17), for what He has done for me.

As far as I can tell, all of the exemplary prayers found in the Bible express thanksgiving to our Lord. Mary’s Magnificat is devoted only to praise and thanksgiving:

·       “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty.” (Luke 1:46-54)

Mary didn’t simply recite a prayer because it made her feel good. Instead, she was convinced that she has a God who is good and will continue to do good for her.

These great prayers are not only expressions of God’s worthiness but also of our unworthiness. Both the confession of our sins and the praise of His glory are necessary ingredients of thanksgiving. Why? Because He will not elevate the proud, the unrepentant! This would only harden us in our conceit.

Besides, it is privilege to give thanks. It lifts us above our worries. It doesn’t matter whether or not we feel thankful. Instead, we should be thankful. Even if we don’t feel thankful for our lives, we have been promised eternal world of love to be thankful about. We therefore thank God, because He deserves it, especially in light of the fact that we don’t deserve His mercy. The more that I realize that I don’t deserve His mercy, the more I am thankful for it, and the more I love my God.

Thankfulness is a life-preserver. Therefore, we should not feel bullied into expressing thankfulness. Instead, thankfulness is part of the gift our Savior gives us to disconnect from our worries by connecting with Him.

Lyubomirsky advises us to “Count your blessings”:

·       One way to do this is with a “gratitude journal” in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful – from mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible. (Time)

While Lyubomirsky’s advice is helpful, it is focused entirely upon heightening our feelings and not upon the truth that there are things that we must be thankful for. She offers us an exercise, not the Lord.

Memory is our reservoir of thankfulness. Moses continued to remind Israel of God’s wondrous miracles to redeem Israel from Egypt lest they forget Him and turn away:

·       Did any people ever hear the voice of a god speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and still live? Or has any god ever attempted to go and take a nation for himself from the midst of another nation, by trials, by signs, by wonders, and by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and by great deeds of terror, all of which the LORD your God did for you in Egypt before your eyes? To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD is God; there is no other besides him. (Deuteronomy 4:33-35)

We too need to be reminded of God’s work on our behalf lest we become discouraged and fall prey to worry. In the midst of his depression, the Psalmist forced himself to remember God:

·       Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you… (Psalm 42:5-6)

Our Lord is the source of all hope, and this is becoming increasingly apparent to me. After imbibing the news of the day from my computer, I find that I am contaminated with worry like a toxic dump. However, my worries, coupled with my inadequacies to address them, lead me in one direction – to prayer. He knows our burdens and encourages us to cast our cares upon Him:

·       Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)

The knowledge of the love of our all-mighty God is able to give us hope, relief, and thankfulness when everything else fails. Besides, we need not compromise truth and what we truly believe in order to be thankful.