The opinions of man can control and devastate us, even for
someone who has it all. Haman was the second most powerful man in the Persian
Empire. When he passed, everyone bowed before him except for one man, Mordecai
the Jew (Esther 3). Haman was so enraged that he decided to exterminate all of
the Jews.
Our need for approval and validation is so utterly life-controlling
that those who have everything always need more. In The Significant Life, George Weaver cites President Lyndon B.
Johnson as an example of this:
·
According to one commentator, “It is a curious
footnote to history that long before he ran into trouble, Johnson had turned
central Texas into a living monument to his heritage and his journey to the
summit (the L.B.J birthplace, the L.B.J. boyhood home, the L.B.J. state park,
the L.B.J. ranch and more).” (22)
Sadly, this insatiable and oppressive need doesn’t turn many
towards the God of the Bible. Jesus had charged the religious leadership with
being more concerned about the opinions of men than of God:
- “How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God?” (John 5:44)
Without the love of God, we are never satisfied. We are
empty stomachs, which always need more. King Herod had refused to sell grain to
Tyre and Sidon. So they sent some very savvy ambassadors to him. When Herod
began to speak, they proclaimed, “This is the voice of a god, not of a man”
(Acts 12). They understood Herod and also human nature. So does Scripture:
·
The fear [trusting in the opinions] of man lays
a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. (Proverbs 29:25)
I too had lusted over the approval of man. Before I had graduated
from social work school, the highly esteemed director of our department called
me in. I had expected her to commend me. However, she said, “I don’t know if I
should say this to you, but I think you are going to have problems wherever you
go.”
I was devastated, but before I had an opportunity to ask her
to explain, she received a phone call and remained on the line for the next 15
minutes. I finally left feeling that I had an arrow in my side, and it was a
wound that remained for a number of years.
We are imprisoned by this need for approval and validation.
It is a life-controlling addiction. However, Jesus had promised us freedom:
- Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31-32)
We need freedom from our addiction, but what does the Bible
teach us that will give us this freedom? I think that there are two sets of
truths that we need to embrace. The first one is the truth about humanity. Our
opinions don’t really matter:
- For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”; and again, “The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.” (I Corinthians 3:19-20; Psalm 94:11)
- But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one. (I Corinthians 2:14-15)
If this is so, why then do we continue to crave their
opinions and approval? However, we are social creations who do need approval
and validation, which must ultimately come from God Himself. Until we
understand this essential truth, we will remain dependent upon the opinions of
man. What a delight to know that my life belongs to the One who died for me:
- I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)
Therefore, we have been freed from the need for the
validation of men. Instead, we have the all-defining love of the One who died
for us even when we were His enemies:
- “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” (Romans 5:8-10)
If He loved us so much when we hated Him, how much more now
after He has paid the supreme price for us and has removed the barriers between
us, making us His friends. Therefore, Paul prayed that we would come to know
the extent of His love for us:
- ...know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:19)
To know the fullness of His love is to be filled with the
“fullness of God.” When I failed to understand this truth, I would resent God
when bad things happened to me. I had wrongly believed that my suffering proved
that He really didn’t love me that much. This belief multiplied my suffering.
Now that I am convinced of His unchanging love, I can endure.
Nevertheless, I would doubt that Jesus had truly died on the
Cross for our sins. Yet, when I studied the evidence, I found that this truth
was unassailable. All of the ancient sources validated Jesus’ willing death on
the Cross. This is important. Atheists sometimes challenge us:
·
How do you Christians know that your Bible isn’t
a deception from one who has the power to deceive you all?
There is only one answer – A deceiver wouldn’t die such a
horrific death. It was the death of our Savior that has proved His love to us. This
is why Jesus proclaimed:
·
…“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be
glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the
earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. (John
12:23-24)
Why was such a painful and humiliating death be the moment
of His glorification, instead of His creation or glorious return? Because this
is when God conclusively proved His love for us!
But did Jesus really rise from the dead? If He didn’t, we
are without any hope. However, the historical evidence in favor of this is
overwhelming. Nevertheless, our doubting flesh is always pitted against what we
know (Galatians 5:17). For me, one doubt persisted – “Does God personally love
me? Perhaps I am not deserving enough. My faith and obedience always fall
short.”
I found that Scripture answers this doubt conclusively. Paul
had explained:
- The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. (1 Timothy 1:15-16)
I have rejoiced to find many Scriptural proofs that God
often chooses the least deserving so that no one would boast of their own merit
(1 Corinthians 1:26-29). Consequently, any who come to the Lord will be
saved (Romans 10:12-13). This is proven in the lives of many broken
individuals.
Lot had been living a very compromised life in the sin
capital of Sodom. Even worse, he allowed his two daughters to get him drunk on
two successive evenings so that he would impregnate them. Nevertheless, the NT
regards Lot as a righteous man:
·
and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly
distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked, for as that righteous man
lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their
lawless deeds that he saw and heard. (2 Peter 2:7-8)
If God had regarded the likes of Paul and Lot as
“righteous,” I was fortified with the understanding that He would gladly regard
me in the same way.
Even though King David had a number of wives, these weren’t
enough for him. When, from his rooftop, he saw Bathsheba showering, he took
her, impregnated her, and then killed her righteous husband Uriah to marry her.
Therefore, God afflicted David and took his child by Bathsheba, even though He
had forgiven him. Consequently, when David had another child with Bathsheba, he
named him “Solomon,” which means “peace” (shalom), probably hoping, against
hope, that now there might be some peace between he and God. However, this
became an occasion for God to reveal His love for His beloved David:
- Then David comforted his wife, Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her, and she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. And the Lord loved him and sent a message by Nathan the prophet. So he called his name Jedidiah, because of the Lord. (2 Samuel 12:24-25)
Jedidiah means “beloved of God.” I thought, “How is it
possible that God could bring forth someone beloved out of such a sin-strained
union?” However, I had been learning about how God delights in showing His
grace to the most undeserving, even the Patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
As I saw these examples in the Scriptures, I began to grow in my confidence
that He loved me too.
It is only by confidence in the love of God that I can stand
against adversity and resist the oppressive opinions of man.
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