SELF-HELP AND ITS LIMITATIONS

 

 

 

I am convinced that self-help can only address relatively superficial concerns – behavioral issues – like learning how to treat others with respect instead of derision, to forgive rather than to seek revenge, or to do good rather than evil.

 

In contrast, I think that we do not have the capacity to change our deeper issues. Therefore, I write Christ-centered essays arguing that we must be changed from Above. It doesn’t matter how strong we are, we cannot lift ourselves off the ground by pulling on our legs. Instead, we need Another to lift us out of our malaise, as Christ has done for me after decades of depression.

 

I submit my essays to various self-help Facebook groups. Most reject them. One woman respectfully replied that they do not post submissions of a religious nature. I responded that her self-help group was also religious in nature. It is based on the belief that we have the answers and resources within us. As such, it is a God-substitute. Instead of relying upon God, modern secularism’s hidden assumption is that “I’ve got what it takes.” However, this is rarely seen as a religion but as an unassailable “truth” that has become so much a part of our secular culture that it is barely recognized.

 

However, we do not have what it takes. This is why we continue to be plagued with depression, self-harm, and a wide variety of other afflictions, despite our many self-help resources. Also, there are many indications that self-help’s help is very limited, even when self-help’s goals are very basic, like learning relaxation techniques. However, even this modest goal yields mixed results:

 

·       Relaxation-induced anxiety has been acknowledged by the psychological community since the 1980s, but an actual cause for the condition has never been agreed upon. https://www.studyfinds.org/relaxation-techniques-cause-many-with-anxiety-to-feel-worse/

 

This research team discovered that participants diagnosed with anxiety were not amenable to relaxation techniques, which sometimes even caused more anxiety:

 

·       This observed sensitivity was linked to anxious feelings during the relaxation sessions. It is worth noting that similar results were found among participants dealing with depression, but the effect was not as strong. (Ibid.)

 

The psychological community is still groping to find an explanation for this puzzling phenomenon. However, they might have overlooked the simplest and most direct explanation – Self-help interventions place our attention back upon the self and its intractable problems.

 

Besides, when we think our self-help attempts have failed, we sink into deeper despair. When we are convinced that they have worked, we tend to become arrogant and conclude, “It’s worked for me. Since it hasn’t worked for you, it means that you lack the motivation or the inner strength to change.”

 

This also pertains to meditation. If you are just looking for relaxation, I would recommend a walk in the woods or even along a quiet urban street. However, self-focus upon our inner states is the last thing that many of us need. Instead, we need deliverance from the self and its crying psychological needs.

 

This is exactly what I have found in Jesus, the One who loves me and had died for my sins, the One who has promised to take care of me. Because I am convinced that He is taking care of me, I no longer need to obsess upon myself. He has promised:

·       If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:31-32)

 

Continually, I must remind myself of this fact, especially when the worries of life take hold. I have never found anything that can substitute for my Savior.

 

Admittedly, the picture is more nuanced since the Lord also promised that His children would have to suffer. Why? Because He is refining us to reign along with Him (Hebrew 12:5-11; 1 Peter 4:17; 2 Corinthians 4:10-11). This verse best catches the parallel realities of our present condition:

·       Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. (Psalm 34:19)

 

We suffer but then we experience His deliverance. This has been my experience, and it serve as a potent reminder.