THE GOAL OF COUNSELING

 

 

Most come to the psychotherapist to reduce symptomology. Few come to see themselves and life more clearly. I would like to suggest that we should go to a counselor for the same reason we get a set of eyeglasses - to enable us to see more clearly so that we can navigate life with greater ease and assurance.

 

Psychologically, we do not see clearly. Jesus taught:

 

·       “And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” (John 3:19-20 ESV)

 

Jesus was about restoring sight to the spiritually blind:

 

·       “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind...” (Luke 4:18)

 

We do not have to be Christians to recognize that humanity is psychologically blind, and that this is a huge hindrance to personal growth. A wealth of psychological surveys reveal that we are blind, and it pervades all areas of our lives.

 

In one study, college students were asked to rate themselves in terms of their ability to get along with others. Twenty five percent rated themselves in the top 1%. Another study showed that our distorted view of our judgments negatively impacted professional judgment:

 

·       ...94% percent of college professors think that they do above average work.

 

Perhaps more importantly, in another study:

 

·       ...when doctors diagnosed their patients as having pneumonia, predictions made with 88% confidence turned out to be right only 20% of the time.

 

These studies and many others point out our pervasive tendency to inflate our self-esteem at great cost to our adjustment to the challenges of life. Why? Because whatever we manage successfully, we must see accurately.

 

These findings are uniform. Psychologist Jennifer Crocker concluded:

 

·       The pursuit of self-esteem has short-term benefits but long term costs…ultimately diverting people from fulfilling their fundamental human needs for competence, relatedness and autonomy and leading to poor self-regulation and mental and physical health.

 

Erica Goode writes:

 

·       ’D’ students…think as highly of themselves as valedictorians, and serial rapists are no more likely to ooze with insecurities than doctors or bank managers…In an extensive review of the studies, Nicholas Emler…found no clear link between low self-esteem and delinquency, violence against others, teenage smoking, drug use or racism…High self-esteem, on the other hand, was positively correlated with racist attitudes, drunken driving and other risky behaviors.” (NYT, 10/1/02, “Deflating Self-Esteem’s Role in Society’s Ills”)

 

In contrast, the Bible counsels us to regard ourselves accurately (Romans 12:3). This should also be our goal as counselor – to lead others to the light of God’s truths. For a captain to navigate his ship successfully, he needs an accurate understanding of it strengths and vulnerabilities - the waters and conditions his ship can endure.

 

You might find these considerations to be superficial. However, without accurate knowledge, we will shipwreck our relationships, jobs, and even our mental health. The way we think will determine all else:

 

·       If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:13-18 NLT)

 

However, these aren’t principles that can be taught, not as long as our hearts are blighted by the love of the darkness and self-deceit. In the words of the Scriptures, we must be born again.