TOXIC POSITIVITY

 

 

God is truth, as Jesus had proclaimed: “I am the way, the truth, and the life...” ( John 14:6). This fact requires us to also live in the Light of God’s truth, however painful our exposure to the truth:

 

·       Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. (Psalm 51:6)

 

However, so much of the advice of the self-help movement has demeaned truth in favor of positive self-talk: “Believe in yourself,” “Trust in your feelings,” “You can succeed at whatever you try”... Whether such advice has anything to do with truth was secondary to building confidence and self-esteem.

 

However, I think we see some indications that truth is making a comeback among some mental health professionals. For example, business mentor, speaker, and podcast host, Lauren Saunders, has written that positivity has a negative side when not grounded in emotional truth:

 

·       Hurting people “want to create abundant lives and desired outcomes, they [reason that they] can’t have too much doubt, fear, or uncertainty. It’s essentially an attempt to bypass the emotions that make us human, to only focus on the ‘good’, and to live in a perpetual state of monitoring our every thought and emotion so that we only attract what we want.”

 

·       “There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ emotions, only the stories we assign to how we feel, and what those feelings mean about us and our capacity to live fulfilled and happy lives.” https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/denying-sadness-anxiety-and-doubt-are-forms-of-toxic-positivity-that-arent-helping-you

 

We can learn from our emotions. They teach us valuable lessons. To suppress and deny them does not eliminate them. Instead, we might even empower them as they operate freely in our subconscious and emerge in confusing ways.

 

To successfully manage our lives requires us to see our problems as they really are. We wouldn’t try to clean our dishes or cook ravioli if we blindfold ourselves. Instead, we must see the task as it really is.

 

Toxic positivity also undermines relationships. It is not as satisfying to relate to a mask, a facade, as it is to relate to a genuine, self-accepting person. The positivity mask undermines any sense of connection with the other person. Nor does it facilitate relational problem solving.

 

Counseling’s goal should be to uncover the truth. Listening and probing demonstrates caring and helps our friend to realize that self-discovery is important, even to your friend.

 

Truth was central to Jesus’ ministry:

 

·       “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

 

Truth must be central to our own ministry. Truth starts with the knowledge of God, but it also includes the knowledge of ourselves and our neediness of the Savior.