SELF-DELUSION IS A COMFORTING KILLER

The claim that we are all self-deluded is something that has been confirmed by hundreds of psychological surveys and experiments. In a New York Times 2007 article, “Denial Makes the World Go Round,” Benedict Carey, by virtue of the overwhelming evidence, concludes:

 

·       Everyone is in denial about something; just try denying it and watch friends make a list. For Freud, denial was a defense against external realities that threaten the ego, and many psychologists today would argue that it can be a protective defense in the face of unbearable news, like a cancer diagnosis.

 

·       “The closer you look, the more clearly you see that denial is part of the uneasy bargain we strike to be social creatures,” said Michael McCullough, a psychologist at the University of Miami and the author of the coming book “Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct.” “We really do want to be moral people, but the fact is that we cut corners to get individual advantage, and we rely on the room that denial gives us to get by, to wiggle out of speeding tickets, and to forgive others for doing the same.”

 

Therefore, to deny denial is to be out of touch with our self-serving defensive maneuvers. We are adept at suppressing into unconsciousness things we don’t want to see about ourselves. This had certainly been true for me and is probably still true to a certain extent. Why? We prefer the comforts of darkness and self-deceit as Jesus had taught:

 

·       “And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” (John 3:19-20)

 

I therefore “boast” that I am a recovering lover-of-the-darkness. I still love to think comforting thoughts rather than correct thoughts.

 

Why is humanity in denial? Simple - we want to be! Why do we wear self-protective masks rather than just being transparent and non-defensive? Despite all of our attempts at denial and suppression of what we find shameful about ourselves, we still sense that there is something wrong with us. Therefore, we try to numb this sense with sex, substances, distractions, achievements, and the affirmations and “rewards” of society.

 

Why do we hate and reject the idea of a moral and righteous God? Because we know that we cannot live up to His righteous standards and feel condemned. Therefore, we lie to ourselves:

 

·       People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. (Proverbs 16:2)

 

 

Besides, we are unwilling to surrender our autonomy to Him. We’d rather remain the captain of our own ship, even if it is sinking.

 

Perhaps this is what hell is all about - God allowing us to have the darkness of our comforting self-delusions, even if it inevitably climaxes into eternal torment:

 

·       Even Gentiles, who do not have God’s written law, show that they know his law when they instinctively obey it, even without having heard it. They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell [reassure] them they are doing right. And this is the message I proclaim—that the day is coming when God, through Christ Jesus, will judge everyone’s secret life. (Romans 2:14-16)

 

How will our God accomplish this? Perhaps by merely shining His light into their darkness. Perhaps this will prove to be so terrifying, that the lover-of-darkness will flee from the Light even if it leads to their alienation from everything good and perhaps even to their own destruction.

 

Confronting my true self has only been made possible as God’s love convinced that I was safe despite my apparent unworthiness.