SELF-ACCEPTANCE vs. SELF-PROMOTION

 

 

What is self-acceptance? It is the opposite of inflating your self-esteem by believing you’re more worthy than you are, accentuating the good and denying the bad. This is self-delusion—the unwillingness to see yourself accurately and the endless struggle to suppress the truth.

 

In contrast, self-acceptance is the willingness to engage our true self and to lay aside our masks and blinders. It is also the cessation of the inner struggle to bury the truth in favor of humility, transparency, and the freedom to laugh at ourselves.

 

But how can we accept ourselves when we don’t like what we see, when it provokes fears, guilt, shame, and insecurities? And it will! Why? Because it is painful to engage the truth about ourselves. We are not the people we want to be.

 

I could never accept myself as I was. Instead, I had to lie to myself to compensate for my weaknesses and failures. I had to believe that it was always the other guys’ fault:

 

·       Every way of a man is right in his own eyes; But Jehovah weigheth the hearts. (Proverbs 21:2 ASV)

 

Paul had experienced the same problem. He, along with the rest of us, needed to know he was a “somebody.” Therefore, he confessed that he had relied on several self-righteousness strategies, which highlighted his lineage, his fidelity to the law of God, and his noteworthy education. However, he learned that he couldn’t trust in his resume but in Christ alone:

 

·       Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith. (Philippians 3:8-9)

 

Paul understood that his worth couldn’t depend upon his performance. This would always be deficient and would lead to self-obsession and deceit. Instead, his worth and identity could only be based upon the love, forgiveness, and acceptance of Jesus. If Jesus accepted him with all of his flaws, he could begin to accept himself.

 

If Jesus loves us, the affirmations of others mean little in comparison. Without this certainty, we remain captive to the opinions of others:

 

·       It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe. (Proverbs 29:25 GNT)

 

Freedom requires self-acceptance. It means we no longer have to prove our worthiness to the world. Why not? Because we know that we are worthy in the eyes of the One who truly matters:

 

·       …If God is for us, who is against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not also with him freely give us all things? Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth; who is he that condemneth? It is Christ Jesus that died, yea rather, that was raised from the dead, who is at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. (Romans 8:31-34 ASV)

 

Christ is our refuge, and He gives us everything we need:

 

·       But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who was made unto us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption: (1 Corinthians 1:30)

 

Besides, He loves us above anything we can imagine:

 

·       “…know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge, that ye may be filled unto all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. (Ephesians 3:19-20 ASV)

 

If I forget Christ’s love for me, I begin to slip back into the bondage of obsessing on what others think of me. Knowledge of His love is the truth that continues to set me free (John 8:31-32).