A TESTIMONY OF THE FAITHFULNESS OF OUR GOD

Often we must undergo the fires to learn to trust in our Lord. This testimony reveals faithfulness of our Lord even when it seems that all is lost:

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and His worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth." (John 4:23-24)

We were created to glorify God and one of the biggest ways we bring Him glory is to worship Him for He is worthy! God has lead me to the sweet and joy filled act of worshipping Him in spirit and in truth but that wasn't always the case. From the beginning the enemy has wanted to snuff me out and steal from God any glory that my life could bring.

From the time I was born until 3 years old I was subjected to abuse and neglect at the hand of my mother and the men she chose to bring into our home. I nearly died several times before the age of one. Because of the occult practices my mother became involved in she gave Satan access to us, her children. We witnessed many horrific things including a child sacrifice. When I was three I saw Satan face-to-face. He appeared to me as a hideous creature and kept repeating that He "was going to get me" while he clicked his finger nail on his teeth. I kept repeating that "Jesus is my friend" until he left. That encounter, unquestionably, left a lasting impression on me. I was gripped by fear and dread and I felt like I was always looking over my shoulder.

My mother died shortly that same year at the age of 26. I never met my birth father. My half-brother was 5 and when our mom passed away we entered the foster care system for a short time until we could be adopted by family. My 2nd cousin and his wife became my dad and mom. I grew up in a Christian home. We went to church every Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night. I was involved in Missionettes (similar to Awana) and as I got older, youth group. I left home when I was 18 and made some bad choices. I became pregnant with my first daughter and went back home to live with my parents and began to pursue the Lord again fervently. When my daughter was a year old her dad came back into our lives and claimed he was free from drugs. He accepted the Lord and we were married 6 months later. We welcomed our second daughter about a year after we were married. After a work injury he began using drugs again. There was abuse, unfaithfulness and abandonment that followed. He entered Teen Challenge and I felt the Lord was going to put our family back together but He couldn't give up his addiction. Later that year I became a single mom of two girls, was working full time and going to school full time. I never stopped believing in Jesus but I began to live my life the way I saw fit. I would tell you that I was a Christian but I wasn't pursuing a life of obedience to him.

I met Rob, my husband, a couple years later when I went to work for the company He was working for. I saw a man of great integrity, faith and strong leadership. I saw how he cared for his aging parents and his respect for others. We were married in 2000 and he adopted our two girls the following year.

God brought me to a rock-bottom crisis about 7 years ago when our girls began to rebel. It was then I realized that my relationship with the Lord was not what it should be. I had many idols set up in my life that were preventing me from worshipping the true God. The one I said I served. I prayed reverently for God to show me what the problem was, fully expecting Him to show me it was others I had identified. Instead the Lord lovingly handed me a mirror. The revelation the Lord gave me during this time completely changed me and transformed my life. I came to terms with my sins and I repented. I remember the thought of repenting was scary at first because I had not done it for some time. I felt I had fallen so far away, I had done too much, I should have known better, he had already done so much for me in the past and I still turned away to do my own thing, how could He fix me now. I felt feelings of shame and humiliation set in but I determined that no matter what I was facing in order to make things right that I was willing to humble myself because I wanted my relationship with God restored. Jesus was my only hope. The minute I humbled myself before Him, turned away from those things and turned with my whole heart to God I felt an overwhelming sense of forgiveness, grace and peace wash over me. I was no longer concerned with anything that followed.

I have given up many things to follow Christ but I now consider them garbage compared to what I have gained in Him! He has also been faithful and gracious to restore many things as well. We recently got to experience the joy of welcoming our first grandchild. I truly feel that I can now worship my God in spirit and in truth. Nothing to hide. My goal, with the help of the Holy Spirit, is to bring as much glory to God as I can, to be fully submitted and fully committed to the one who set me free! He is worthy of all praise, honor and glory!

I was finally set free from the fear that plagued me my whole life as well. As the scripture says: "Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble, yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." James 4:7-10 God keeps His promises and every word He has spoken is true!

"Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire.'" Hebrews 12:28-29

"Through Him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge His name." Hebrews 13:15