Christian Confidence is Offensive but Necessary

The three Jewish magistrates administering in Babylon refused to bow down and worship the statue of King Nebuchadnezzar and were accused before the King of this capital offense:

• But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon--Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego--who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:12)

The King then offered them one last opportunity to do homage before his statue to avoid being cast into a “fiery furnace.” However, they courageously responded,

• Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:16-18)

Such courage depends on a clear knowledge of and a confidence in God. However, it’s this very type of knowledge and confidence that is being so widely rejected today. While some insist that they aren’t possible, others attack doctrinal certainty as arrogant, unattractive, imperialistic and dismissive of other religious beliefs.

I’d like to argue that these challenges are illogical, unbiblical, and dismissive of who we are to be in Christ.

DISMISSING CERTITUDE IS ILLOGICAL: In order to dismiss certainty, the skeptic needs to make a statement of certainty. For instance, one otherwise competent theologian stated, “We can’t be certain about those very important spiritual and moral issues.” However, in order to dismiss Christian certainty, he had to make a statement of certainty – “We can’t be certain!” If we can’t be certain about such matters, how can he state so strongly that he is certain that “we can’t be certain.”

This incoherence is not a matter of wording. It is a necessary byproduct of trying to dismiss certainty. Others call themselves “Christian Agnostics,” claiming “You really can’t know if the Bible is God’s Word!” Here too, they are denying certainty with a statement of certainty – “You can’t know” – thereby contradicting themselves.

Nor can the multi-culturalist complain that our Christian certainty represents an unacceptable judgment of others. In making such an assessment, they too are judging! Nor can they claim that it’s offensive without being “offensive” themselves! Nor can they charge us with “arrogance” without being arrogant and dogmatic themselves.

CERTAINTY IS BIBLICAL: The Bible says a lot about certainty and the need for it:

• For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. (John 17:8)

• Therefore, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, it seemed good also to me to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught. (Luke 1:3-4)

• Col. 2:2-3 My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

• For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. (Ephes. 5:5)

• Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus. (1 Tim. 3:13)

More importantly, confidence is so essential to the quality of our relationship with our Lord:

·       Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith. (Hebrews 10:19-22)

CERTAINTY OR CONFIDENCE IS NECESSARY AND PERSONALLY ENHANCING: The three Hebrew administrators couldn’t have lived courageously without confidence in their God. Nor can we live courageously and coherently without the confidence that our faith imparts to us. The Book of Hebrews gives us a condensed set of portraits of the power arising from the assurance of faith:

• Through faith [they] conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. (Hebrews 11:33-36)

This doesn’t mean that assurance comes without blood, sweat and tears. It had eluded me for half of my life in Christ. I must confess that it would have been easier to have been a postmodern Christian and dismissed the hope that assurance was possible. Instead, I had been tormented by thinking that it was possible, while it seemed that there was nothing I could do to obtain it. This made me feel like a second-rate Christian. However, God is faithful, who eventually brought me to a place of stability and confidence, although it required confronting my various doubts.

Paul writes of the “riches of assured understanding” (Col. 2:2). We needs these riches in order to stand, and our God can make us stand (Romans 14:4).

CAN WE BE ASSURED THAT WE ARE SAVED? This issue is critical to our relationship with God. If we are not confident that God has received us and will never let us go, we will have great difficulty to love Him and to live for Him.

However, the Bible provides many ways that we can know that we are eternally His. For one thing, He has promised that any who really want Him can have Him:

·       All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. (John 6:37; 3:16)

·       For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:12-13)

We might fear that God would never accept us after all the sins we have committed. However, Paul confessed that he had been the worst sinner. Not only did he kill Christians, but even worse, he forced them to renounce Jesus! Therefore, if God had forgiven him and even made him the foremost missionary, this proves that He is ready to receive anyone, no matter how sinful:

• The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.  But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. (1 Tim. 15-16)

We are also fearful that we might not have enough faith to be saved. However, our Savior is very gracious. The “Hall of Fame of Faith” (Hebrews 11) provides us with many examples of exemplary faith. One example of this highlights the faith of the children of Israel:

• By faith the people [of Israel] crossed the Red Sea as on dry land, but the Egyptians, when they attempted to do the same, were drowned. (Hebrews 11:29) 

However, when we read the original Exodus account, it doesn’t seem that the Israelites had any faith. Instead, as the Egyptian chariots were approaching, they angrily rebelled against Moses. However, since they were between a rock and a hard place, they followed Moses through the parted sea. Did they have faith? Only the smallest measure!

What does this tell us? That we only need the smallest measure of faith to satisfy our merciful God!

The Apostle John affirmed that if we have sincere faith, we can know that we are saved:

·       Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and whoever loves the Father loves the child born of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. (1 John 5:1-2)

If we are endeavoring to keep his commandments, however imperfectly, we can know that we are in Him:

• By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, "I have come to know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. (1 John 2:3-6)

Although obedience doesn’t save us, it certainly helps us to know that we are saved. Why so? Well, if we trust in our Lord, we will do what He tells us to do. If we don’t trust Him, we will not. If we trust in our doctor, we will do what he tells us to do. This principle applies even more to obeying our Savior.

We tend to worry that we are not righteous enough or deserving enough to be saved. However, our Patriarch Abraham repeatedly failed God. He even confessed that everywhere that they would travel, he would have his wife Sarah deny that she was married to Abraham so that, if they would take Sarah, Abraham would be rewarded instead of killed (Genesis 20:13).

Abraham nephew, Lot had been living a highly compromised life in Sodom and thereafter. However, in God’s eyes, he was righteous:

·       …He rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard). (2 Peter 2:7-8)

Lot’s daughters had even got Lot drunk to have sex with him. Nevertheless, in God’s eyes, he was righteous.

How can we reassure ourselves that we belong to God? There are many ways. Jesus taught that those who belong to Him come to His light:

• And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. (John 3:19-20)

The fact that we come to the light of His Word is a good indication that we have been born again. Otherwise, we would run from the Lord and His Word. The Apostle John put it this way:

·       We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood. (1 John 4:6)

The fact that we read the teachings of the Apostles to learn how to follow Jesus is something that the natural person does not do:

• The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. (1 Cor. 2:14)

The fact that we care about the things of God – the Bible, forgiveness, heaven, living for Jesus – is a powerful indication that we have been regenerated.

Nevertheless, many of us have a conscience that condemns us, making us feel that we couldn’t possibly be saved. However, this is normal:

• We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight. This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. (1 John 3:19-23)

Sometimes, we have to preach the Gospel to our condemning heart. What sermon do we preach? We remind ourselves that we have the fruits of the Spirit? Which? In the above verses, John mentioned three: We keep his commandments, believe, and love one another. Of course, we do none of these things perfectly, but we confess our sins when we don’t measure up to His standards. And when we do, He forgives and cleanses us of all our dirt.

The Apostle John had provided many tests by which we can reassure ourselves. He added sincere confession:

·       Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. (1 John 4:15)

If, in all ways, we are not seeking to conform our lives to our Savior, we will not receive His assurance that we are saved and will fear judgment:

• God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear [of judgment] in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. (1 John 4:16-18)

When our goal is love, first of God and then or our neighbor, we are walking as Jesus did and will have confidence, even in the face of judgment.

If you still lack this confidence, just trust in the Lord. He is able to provide.

Believing, Doubting, and Receiving

I was often told that if I wanted God to answer my prayers, I had to believe, without any doubt, that he would answer my prayers. I found this very troubling. How could I not have doubts? There were already many prayers that had gone unanswered! How then could I not doubt that this latest prayer might also go unanswered? This teaching even threatened the little bit of faith that I did have, but this seemed to be James’ message:

• If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does (James 1:5-8).

I liked the first verse. It promised that God would generously give me wisdom without censuring me for asking, and I certainly needed wisdom. However, it seemed that the following verses reversed this promise. I wouldn’t receive anything from the Lord because I struggled with doubt, and this made me “double-minded” and “unstable.”

I knew I couldn’t reach His standards, and so His promise of wisdom was useless to me. Even worse, my doubts suggested that I might not even be one of His children!

However, I began to see that many of God’s servants doubted, and God didn’t abandon them to their doubts. John the Baptist had doubted. Even though he had testified that he had seen the Holy Spirit descend on Jesus and referred to Jesus as the “Lamb who takes away the sins of the world,” he too doubted after he was thrown into prison. He therefore sent his disciples to Jesus to determine if He was really the Messiah.

Instead of sending John’s disciples back saying, “Just tell John to quit doubting,” He addressed his doubts with evidence:

• "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor” (Matthew 11:4-5). 

In fact, Jesus always seemed ready to provide evidence to support the often-failing faith of His disciples. After His crucifixion, they were on a doubt-saturated retreat. However, He penetrated their locked safe-house to encourage them in the midst of their disbelief:

• "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have" (Luke 24:38-39).

They doubted, yet they received! This relieved me, but it left me with another problem – How do I understand James? Perhaps there were different kinds of doubting, and perhaps James had a more serious form of doubting in mind.

James equated doubting with being “double-minded.” Perhaps he had the hypocritical, unrepentant sinner in mind, not the person struggling with honest doubts, like Jesus’ disciples.

I found that the Greek word for “double-minded” was used only one other time in Scripture, and that was in the fourth chapter of James:

• Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up (James 4:8-10).

These verses revealed several things about this double-minded man. He was a “sinner” who had to repent, to “Grieve, mourn and wail.” Evidently, he hadn’t “come near to God.” He prayed and used God-talk, but his heart was far from God. It was no wonder that he would receive nothing from God until he humbled himself to confess his sins and double-mindedness.

It reminded me of when the Lord hosted the Prophet Ezekiel to a tour of the Temple to see the duplicitous secrets of the “seventy elders of the house of Israel”:

• He said to me [Ezekiel], "Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel are doing in the darkness, each at the shrine of his own idol? They say, 'The LORD does not see us; the LORD has forsaken the land'" (Ezekiel 8:12-13). 

Outwardly, they might have looked pious, but inwardly, they had another life. This reminded me of friends who had also claimed that “the LORD has forsaken the land.” They had explained that they had prayed, but the Lord didn’t answer them. Since He hadn’t come through for them, they conveniently concluded that they would now have to take charge of their own lives, the very thing they wanted to do. They continued to pray, but now their trust was in themselves and not the Lord.

I began to notice that there were many kinds of doubting. Some kinds weren’t even contrary to faith. The Bereans doubted Paul’s message, but this kind of doubting was commended:

• Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true (Acts 17:11).

Doubt has a sanctified role in the life of a Christian

Prophets and teachers could not simply be accepted and believed. They had to be examined/doubted:

• Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world (1 John 4:1). 

The church at Ephesus had been commended for this:

• I know your deeds…I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false (Revelation 2:2).

It’s not easy being a doubter/tester, but I found that there is definitely a place for me in the Body of Christ. In fact, everything had to be doubted and examined to safeguard the church (1 Thess. 5:21; Deut. 13:1-5; 18:21-22).

I began to see that the “faith teachers” who teach that we have to close down our skeptical, doubting minds in order to receive anything from the Lord, are wrong. God gave us minds and doubts for a reason, to seek out and safeguard the truth.

There are others forms of doubting that are a normal part of growth. Growth is painful. For a tree to grow, it must break through its old barriers and defenses, the smooth bark that had once protected the tree. In the process, it develops tears and stretch marks associated with the rough bark of an older tree. We too have to grow by re-examining and breaking through our old boundaries—our old ways of thinking.

Believing was a stretch for Jesus’ disciples. He would often address them as “Ye of little faith.” They just weren’t getting it. They would try to make the stretch but would fall. On one occasion, they saw Jesus walking on the water towards their boat. In a great display of faith, Peter cried out:

• "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God" (Matthew 14:28-33).

Peter’s doubt wasn’t the result of a lack of commitment. Instead, he and the rest of the disciples weren’t fully convinced of Jesus’ divine identity. However, after this incident they expressed a deeper understanding: "Truly you are the Son of God."

We too have a deficient understanding of faith. We wrongly regard it as our personal possession and expect it to be fully amenable to our control and manipulations. We think that faith is about an amount, and then we place our faith in the sufficiency of our own faith. We look to ourselves instead of to Christ, our real hope. We become self-centered rather than God-centered. Instead, Jesus encouraged His disciples not to regard the extent of their faith but the object of their faith—God. The smallest measure of faith—a mustard seed’s worth—was enough. However, they would have to grow in their understanding of the One in whom they had invested their faith.

We all have to grow in our understanding of our Lord (2 Pet. 1:2-3; 1 Tim. 4:6; 1 Peter 4:12). There is no escaping this. I had tried to. I prayed that I would be relieved of all of my painful doubts and weakness-of-faith. However, this was not to be. Christ had another purpose for my weakness, my tendency to doubt everything that came my way. He would use this to create His strength (2 Cor. 12:9-10), a confident knowledge of Him. He coerced me, through the torment of doubts, to meditate on His Word day and night in hope of finding answers.

When I wasn’t able to find a way to reconcile stubborn verses, it felt as if I was drowning. I had banked everything on Scripture. I had walked out on the ice-covered lake. If it was not able to support the weight of my confused life, I would fall through the ice to my death.

I heard the ice crack all around me, but it never gave way. In retrospect, I realize that it had been underpinned by God Himself.

• Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time (1 Peter 1:3-5).

My faith was a gift from my Savior, and He would safeguard it! We worry too much about the size of our faith and our control over doubts and thoughts, but we can do nothing without Him (John 15:5). Therefore, we have to entrust our growth to Him, as we actively apply His means of growth.

We have faith-impediments that are so deep that only He can uproot them at their foundation. We always try to compensate for our doubts and insecurities with self-trust, the very enemy of Christ-trust. We love to believe in ourselves, and so this bondage must be broken.

Jesus had sent out His disciples. After their return, a father claimed that they had failed to cast out the demon from his son. After Jesus cast it out, His disciples wanted Him to explain the reason for their failure:

• "Why couldn't we drive it out?"  He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer" (Mark 9:28-29).

What an embarrassing revelation! They had gone out to the mission field without prayer! Why? Evidently, they thought they didn’t really need it! Why not? They were convinced that they had what the job required. Their faith wasn’t truly in Jesus. Instead, they had to learn that, without Him, they were helpless! Their failures and self-doubts were necessary to teach them this lesson.

Other doubts are more serious

They represent a rejection of the faith.

• The LORD said to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?” (Numbers 14:11) 

Doubts were often used as justification for unbelief. The Israelites refused to believe and so they resorted to doubting that God could provide:

• But they continued to sin against him [despite His many miracles], rebelling in the desert against the Most High. They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. They spoke against God, saying, "Can God spread a table in the desert?” (Psalm 78:17-19)

• God's anger rose against them; he put to death the sturdiest among them, cutting down the young men of Israel. In spite of all this, they kept on sinning; in spite of his wonders, they did not believe (Psalm 78:31-32).

However, some reject the faith because of disappointment and can be brought back. Thomas had doubted his brethren’s accounts that they had seen the risen Savior. He refused to believe despite these accounts and Jesus’ many miracles and prophesies about His return. Nevertheless, Jesus appeared to him to give him the proof that he demanded, but He also chastened him:

• Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" (John 20:29). 

However, others remain hardened in their willful doubt and refusal to believe. According to John, when we harden our heart against the faith and willfully disbelieve, we are liars:

• Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son (1 John 2:22; 5:10).

Why don’t we receive when we pray?

One reason is willful doubt, whether we call it unbelief or just rebellion. James ascribes it to wrong motives reflecting a wrong faith:

• You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God (James 4:2-4).

Unanswered prayer is often a matter of sin and unbelief!  Peter gives us an example of sin that will block our prayers:

• Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers (1 Peter 3:7).

There are many biblical references about how unrepented sin blocks us from receiving anything from God. However, will unwanted and unintentional doubting prevent us from receiving from the Lord? I’ve tried to argue against this. We all experience the temptation to sinfully doubt. Jesus was also tempted in every way that we are, except without sin (Heb. 4:15). Therefore, doubts and temptations, in themselves, aren’t sins. Rather, these particular temptations can be positively harnessed to propel a deeper, more prayerful investigation of the Word as we search for answers. Therefore, the doubt is not the problem but how we respond to it.

However, there are a couple of verses that seem to suggest that we shouldn’t even try to combat these doubts through study, but rather, we should shut down our minds to such doubts if our prayers are to be answered.

Peter wanted to know how Jesus was able to whither a fig tree by merely cursing it. Jesus explained:

• "Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:22-25).

I think that understanding Jesus’ answer depends on understanding the phrase, “not doubt in his heart.” Jesus charges that we must “have faith in God.” How? By believing His Word and in “what he says will happen.” What would this consist of? Well, if He directed us to curse a fig tree so that it will wither, we should trust Him that “we have received it.” If His Word tells us that He will give wisdom to those who ask, we should take His Word for it and trust that we are receiving it!

However, Jesus adds what seems to be a blank check: “whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” However, how can we believe that we have received unless it is something that God has already promised us? Certainly, I cannot expect Him to give me something that is sinful or something against His will because I simply asked without doubting! Therefore, the “whatever” needs to be qualified. It needs to be according to His will! The Father would never grant, “Lord I pray that Jesus will not be crucified.”

Even Jesus had to conform His prayer to the will of the Father:

• Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup [the crucifixion] be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will" (Matthew 26:39).

Jesus’ “whatever” was not granted. Instead, He confessed that the will of the Father had to trump His own. Therefore, the “whatever” must be subordinated to the will of the Father.

However, there are also other things that limit the “whatever,” but this will have to wait until another installment.

Why I Believe that the Bible is Actually God Speaking

Today, I responded to an atheist:

• While I admit that there are difficult and even troubling portions of the Bible, the reasons that I believe it far outweigh the problems. Perhaps someday I'll be able to share some stories with you over a cup of coffee.

He had challenged me about the “contradictions” and morally questionable Bible teachings. Sometimes, I respond aggressively. I might challenge the atheist this way:

• “Demonstrate how this is a contradiction and prove to me that there is no way to resolve it,” or… “If God is just and righteous and He created this world, He has every right and duty to judge!”

Instead, this is what I plan to share with him:

Often, I feel like the Psalmist: “My soul is downcast within me” (Psalm 42:6). Today, my soul was very downcast within me. I was too down to focus on any of my work. There was only one thing I could do – crawl into bed with my Bible.

Thirty years ago, my depression and panic attacks were so severe that I didn’t know if I could continue until the next day. I tried to read the Bible, but it was hard for me to concentrate on it or to even believe in it. Sometimes, I was only able to rest it on my stomach as I prayed for sleep. At other times, I was able to read little bits of it, but there were times when something extraordinary took place. An elementary phrase – like “Gods heard him” - would explode into my consciousness for a mere second, like a lightning bolt. The event was so stunning that it would utterly drive away any vestige of depression. For the balance of the day, I was left awed – stunned - by the power that I had experienced.

This stopped happening as my depression and panic ebbed. No more explosions. However, God’s Word is still able to edify me and to drag me out of my downcast-ness like nothing else – like none of my five highly-recommended psychologists. Even though they confidently advised me that I was a good person and had the necessary resources, none of their words were able to even dent the hard shell of my depression – only God’s Word!

The Psalmist wrote:

• I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. (Psalm 34:4-7)

I know that there will be more troubles, fears and tears, but when I have found myself broken by life, I have also found the Lord very present through His Word.

I am temperamentally a skeptic. I still don’t understand these phenomena. I sometimes wonder, “Is this really happening? Is it God who has really delivered me?” I cannot deny what I have experienced on so many occasions. And this has only happened through the Bible. Admittedly, I am perplexed by some things I encounter in His Word, but I am also convinced that I have encountered my Savior in these same words.