We want to feel that we are important and even great.
Evidence of this is all around us. For example, a new discussion group has
advertised:
·
Are you a lefty? Do you live in New York? Then
you're in the right place, because we're a group of left-handed people in New
York City! Left-handed people are known for being creative, intelligent, and
imaginative. You and I are in great company: David Bowie, Friedrich Nietzsche,
Vincent van Gogh, and many other great minds are lefties. If you're looking to
meet other lefties for stimulating conversation...
It is rare to find a Westerner who would be troubled by an
advertisement using the desire for greatness as a hook. Why not? Our pursuit of
greatness or self-worth is regarded as an acceptable goal.
However, Jesus reserved His praise for those who didn’t believe that they were worthy or
great. Amazingly, a Roman commander confessed to Jesus that he was not worthy
that Jesus should come to his home to heal his servant. In his humility, the
commander understood that it was enough for Jesus to simply pronounce the word,
and his servant would be healed.
However, if anyone should have felt worthy, it was the Roman
commander. After all, he was a Roman – a member of a great empire that had
conquered most of the known world. Besides, this commander had shown the
necessary character and valor to rise above others.
Did he have a low self-esteem problem? Jesus didn’t think
so:
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When Jesus heard this, he marveled and said to
those who followed him, “Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found
such faith. (Matthew 8:10; ESV)
What did Jesus see in this man? He saw a man who was not
filled with conceit, with pretentions of his own importance, worthiness, and
greatness. The commander was a man who knew who he was and accepted himself as
unworthy. As such, he knew that Jesus was worthy.
In contrast, we are desperate to prove to the world and to
ourselves that we are worthy. We have pride parades and assemblies of various
kinds to prove that we and our group are worthy.
Jesus commended the faith (and wisdom) of only one other –
again, a Gentile. As an object lesson for His proud disciples, He initially
denied a mother’s request that Jesus cast a demon out of her afflicted
daughter:
·
He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep
of the house of Israel.” But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help
me.” And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw
it to the dogs.” (Matthew 15:24-26)
These words reflected the arrogant worldview of His
disciples, who believed that only Jews could be saved. They thought that the
Gentiles were dogs, and they didn’t want anything to do with them. They must
have been troubled that Jesus had taken them on a tour of Gentile Phoenicia.
They must also have been relieved when Jesus had answered this Gentile in a way
that affirmed their ethnic worth and superiority.
However, Jesus abruptly turned the table on them:
·
She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the
crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered her, “O woman,
great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was
healed instantly. (Matthew 15:27-28)
She proved that she was just as worthy of the mercy of Jesus
as were His disciples. But what made her worthy? The recognition of her
unworthiness and need for the Savior.
Meanwhile, we are trying to climb the ladder of success and
recognition in order to establish our own worth and superiority. Either we
celebrate our success, ethnicity, or our race. We celebrate our genealogies and
the contributions of our ancestors, attempting to ride on their
worthiness-coattails.
However, these forms of celebration cut us off from the
mercy of God and, in the long run, are quite costly. They harden and make us
arrogant. Jesus told a parable about religious leaders who:
·
Trusted in themselves that they were righteous,
and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one
a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed
thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust,
adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes
of all that I get.’“ (Luke 18:9-12)
The Pharisee had convinced himself of his worth and moral
superiority, but what was the result? He became self-righteous and “treated
others with contempt.” Meanwhile, the other man humbled himself to acknowledge
the truth – that he was a sinner who needed the mercy of God as everyone does.
What lesson did Jesus draw from this?
·
I tell you, this man went down to his house
justified, rather than the other [the Pharisee]. For everyone who exalts
himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke
18:14)
This raises an important question for us. Should we teach
our children to believe in themselves and to have a positive self-esteem? To
have a biblically-based, God-based self-estimation is one thing. However, to
believe that “I have whatever it takes” is unbiblical. We don’t have what it
takes, as the Bible continues to inform us at every turn of the page. Paul
wrote about his inadequacy:
·
Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim
anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God. (2 Corinthians
3:5)
If “our sufficiency is from God,” we are violating Scripture
when we tell our youth, “You can do it.” Nor do we need to feel inadequate or
inferior, because, with God on our side, nothing is impossible.
Nor did Jesus teach us that we should believe in ourselves.
Instead, the opposite:
·
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever
abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me
you can do nothing. (John 15:5)
Isn’t this helplessness depressing? Certainly not! Instead,
Scripture assures us that we can do all things through Christ, and even our
failures, He works for our benefit (Romans 8:28). Besides, we are beloved,
forgiven, and have an unfading heavenly inheritance! Through these promises, we
are ennobled and empowered to take our depressed eyes off from ourselves and
onto God.
Why then do we try to build up the self-trust and
self-esteem of our children? Don’t these make them feel good about themselves?
What can be wrong with that? Because it bears only a temporary and deceptive comfort!
Eating candy might satisfy hunger, but this satisfaction is
temporary and comes at a great price. I had felt bad about myself. I
compensated by building my self-esteem through positive affirmations. I would
look in the mirror, flex my muscles, and tell myself that I was great. And it
worked, if you really believe it. I had dreaded going to school, but these
affirmations gave me a certain measure of confidence.
However, reality would not agree. The higher you are, the
harder you fall, and my falls were thunderous. What was the answer? Greater
infusions of self-esteem, like a drug that had ceased to produce a high.
I also used my Jewish ethnicity to restore the high. To some
degree, it worked to remind myself that I was part of a great race of people
who had produced many Nobel Prize winners.
Even as a Christian, I would give myself regular doses of
this self-talk. Consequently, I felt very alienated from other Christians and
even from God. Why? The more we attempt to exalt ourselves, the more we will be
humbled! The more we attempt to trust in ourselves, the less we will trust in
God.
However, our Lord humbles us in order to exalt us, and I was
humbled to a depth I could never explain. Through this incredibly painful
process, I began to see the folly and superficiality of self-exaltation.
I now warn people against this tempting drug. It is not
wrong to enjoy our cultural endowment and to even find good in it. However, we
must not use it to exalt ourselves and to prove that we are worthy. Paul issued
the same warning. He explained that if anyone had a reason to boast – a reason
to trust in their own worthiness – it was he. He mentioned his pedigree,
education, and “righteousness” regarding his compliance with the Mosaic Law.
While there was nothing that matter with these things, he came it realize, in
Christ, that placing trust or deriving self-worth from these things was manure.
Even worse, they blocked him from receiving the gift of righteousness found in
trusting Christ:
·
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for
the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the
surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered
the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain
Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes
from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness
from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his
resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death. (Philippians
3:7-10)
Paul claimed that he had “suffered the loss of all things
and count them as rubbish,” not because his education or his righteous
performance was rubbish, but instead the identity of worthiness he had derived
from them. Why did he forsake this comforting identity? So that his identity
might be derived from Jesus alone!
Paul also suggests that this growth is a process. The more
he would resist the temptation of thinking himself worthy or superior, the more
he would enjoy Christ.
And this was such a temptation for Paul that God afflicted
him with a “thorn in his flesh,” “a messenger of Satan” so that he would better
be able to resist pride. In contrast, we teach our children that they should be
proud of their ethnicity or even sexual orientation. Schools teach them about
successful people of their own race or orientation. We teach them that
self-confidence and a positive self-esteem are virtues. The children are
instructed that they have to believe in themselves. But does this candy that
ruins our appetite for what is truly nourishing – a life-transforming
relationship with the Savior.
Even worse, belief in our own worthiness can alienate us
from God. Jesus told a parable about a lost son, the prodigal son, who had
wasted his life and his father’s resources. When he returned in a humbled
condition, his father celebrated. However, the “good” son, who believed in his
own worthiness and deservedness, looked down on his undeserving brother and
refused to partake in the celebration, rejecting mercy.
Although the temptation remains, I never want to feel that I
am worthy of anything from God. Everything good that I have comes from Him, and
I don’t want to forget it. Once I exalt myself, I fall. Once I believe that I
am deserving of anything good that comes from God, I embrace self-delusion and
its inevitable crash.
King Herod had regarded himself worthy of the most extreme forms of praise and
adoration:
·
On an appointed day Herod put on his royal
robes, took his seat upon the throne, and delivered an oration to them. And the
people were shouting, “The voice of a god, and not of a man!” Immediately an
angel of the Lord struck him down, because he did not give God the glory, and
he was eaten by worms and breathed his last. (Acts 12:21-23)
When we partake in our national or ethnic celebrations, we
must ask ourselves, “Am I giving all the glory to God or am I taking a portion
for myself?”
My Savior has delivered me from the most debilitating
depression and panic attacks. If have no right to boast in anything apart from
my Savior. I pray that His Church will adopt no other attitude.
