The Delight of a Crappy Self-Image

 

 

As counter-intuitive as this might sound, it is liberating to let go of trying to maintain a non-crappy self-image, a burden that no one can bear for long.

To believe that we are morally worthy and more deserving than others is self-delusion:

·       Galatians 6:3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

While this might sound like self-loathing, it is actually liberating. How? Our conscience already informs us that we even fail to meet our own standards. We already know that we are unworthy of anything good. However, when we refuse to accept this fact, we condemn ourselves to living a lie, trying to prove to the world that we are worthy when we know that we are not. It means that we are at war with ourselves. Instead, we only deserve one thing from God—death (Romans 6:23). Rather, it’s God’s love and mercy, not His justice, that enables us to live with ourselves.

Earning worthiness is a schizoid existence. While we are telling ourselves one thing, we know that the truth lies elsewhere. This results in confusion and interferes with psychological integration and living according to the truth about ourselves.

·       This fact should put the kibosh on all boasting: Romans 1:32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

·       However, it seems that Paul is also boasting that he is something while claiming to be nothing: 2 Corinthians 12:11–12 I have been a fool! You forced me to it, for I ought to have been commended by you. For I was not at all inferior to these super-apostles, even though I am nothing. The signs of a true apostle were performed among you with utmost patience, with signs and wonders and mighty works.

Actually, Paul had been boasting in the Lord for the benefit of the churches he was serving, lest they be drawn away by deceivers.

·       1 Corinthians 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

What a blessing it is to know that I belong to Christ (Galatians 2:20), that I am beloved (Ephesians 3:19), and that He is all that I need (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Knowing this, I can even joke about my failures, infirmities, and weaknesses. This enables me to be free and to cease trying to impress others. Interestingly, they are far more impressed when I can be real with them.

Knowing that we are nothing and unworthy is also associated with wisdom and great faith. An important Roman centurion asked Jesus to heal his beloved servant:

·       Matthew 8:8–10 But the centurion replied, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

When Jesus heard this, he marveled and said to those who followed him, “Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith.”

While many would think that there was something the matter with the centurion’s self-image, Jesus marveled at his wisdom and faith. Instead, we are instructed to think accurately about ourselves, as the centurion had done:

·       Romans 12:3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment...