Egotism

 

 

Egotism is expressed by many associated terms: self-righteousness, self-promotion, narcissism, pride, arrogance, conceit, and even self-deception. In any case, it is about trying to prove ourselves superior, both to ourself and to others. Many studies have clearly pointed out the universality of this tendency. One study found that 98% claimed the they are morally superior to others.

Why are we so egotistical? The Bible reveals that we are subliminally aware that there is something radically wrong with us, which needs to be addressed lest we succumb to crippling feelings of guilt and shame. The accusations from our conscience are so powerful that they continue to accuse us of wrongdoing:

·       Romans 2:15 (NLT) They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.

Since God’s laws are written into our DNA, unless we find His mercy, we will continue to experience inner turmoil. Therefore, we resort to self-justifications:

·       Proverbs 21:2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the heart.

We suppress the truth about ourselves and cannot tolerate exposure by the One who judges us:

·       Romans 1:18–20 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

After Adam and Eve disobeyed God and eat the forbidden fruit. Once sin entered, it took control. They could no longer tolerate the presence of God and hid from Him. Nor would they confess their sin once God gave them a chance. Instead, they covered their shame with fig leaves, half-truths, and blame-shifting. When God pronounced His verdict upon them and cast them out of the Garden, they seemed relieved. Adam was in denial and named his wife Eve (life), even though their God and Creator had just condemned them to eventual death.

We have been running from God and His terrifying and revealing light ever since, covering ourselves with the fig leaves of money, power, attainments, and sexual conquests, whatever might make us feel self-righteous and entitled, while our conscience has been declaring the opposite. In view of this, Christ pronounced His condemnation upon humanity:

·       John 3:19–20 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

We are condemned by what we love—the darkness of self-deception—and we know it:

·       Romans 1:32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

We either try to cover this awareness over with the fig leaves of self-righteousness or shake a defiant fist at heaven. Some will even maim themselves to experience a brief reprieve from the punishment they know they deserve.

The Remedy

We suffer from alienation from the Creator and need to be reconciled with Him. None of us can be good enough to earn anything good from Him but death. Our only hope is in His undeserved mercy. What then does He want from us?

·       1 John 1:8–9 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

We just need to be real with God and acknowledge our sins, trusting in His mercy through Jesus’ atonement. Solid relationships must all be built on truth:

·       John 8:31–33 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?”

The self-righteous Israelite leadership were blinded. Their pride had to be broken for the Lord to begin to let light in through their hard shell. Hence, Jesus’ strong denunciation of the scribes and Pharisees!   He had to also break me so that my eyes would see my horrible bondage. However, I could not have endured without the miraculous assurances of His love.

Every day, I am comforted by these assurances. Only in the light of His love can I face myself and even boast in my failures and weaknesses, as He had revealed to Paul amid his disease and God’s unwillingness to heal Paul:

·       2 Corinthians 12:9–10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Consequently, I can now accept my many weaknesses and even laugh at them, because my true identity is in Jesus, where I rest safe and secure.

Building Self-Esteem, Self-Deceit, and Self-Acceptance

When the non-Christian is asked, “If there is a heaven, will you be admitted,” the vast majority answer “yes.” When asked why, 95-98% answer, “I’m a good person.”

Are we all “good people?” By what standard have we determined this? It seems that we have merely deceived ourselves into believing in our surpassing moral superiority, as many parallel studies indicate:

• In one study of nearly a million high school seniors, 70 percent said they had “above average leadership skills, but only 2 percent felt their leadership skills were below average.” Another study found that 94 percent of college professors think they do above average work. And in another study, “when doctors diagnosed their patients as having pneumonia, predictions made with 88 percent confidence turned out to be right only 20 percent of the time.”

• 25% of college students placed themselves in the top 1%, relative to their ability to get along with others.

• 84% of Medical Residents thought that Doctors influenced by gifts from pharmaceutical companies, but only 15% of the respondents thought that they would be so influenced.

• Psychologist Shelley Taylor writes, “Normal people exaggerate how competent and well liked they are. Depressed people do not. Normal people remember their past behavior with a rosy glow. Depressed people are more even-handed…On virtually every point on which normal people show enhanced self-regard, illusions of control, and unrealistic visions of the future, depressed people fail to show the same biases.” (Positive Illusions, p.214)

We don’t suffer from a low self-esteem but an inflated and costly one. The more we inflate ourselves, the more we need to justify our inflated esteem against reality and the more scaffolding we need to maintain our façade. While servitude is measured by the incessant need to maintain a front or image; freedom is not having to. It is the freedom to simply accept ourselves as we are, warts and all, and not have to worry about what people might think!

This is the point of humility – not to beat ourselves down but to simply accept the painful truth about ourselves, the truth from which we have always fled, including the fact that we are not worthy of any of God’s gifts.

The Apostle Paul explained why he had to be vigilant against inflating himself and trusting in his moral merit before God:                           

·       But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death. (Philippians 3:7-9)

Paul was not arguing that his attainments were rubbish. Instead, trusting in their merit before God was rubbish. Considering himself more deserving than others, because of his attainments, was rubbish.

However, this kind of self-trust is worse than rubbish. It is a spiritual and inter-personal poison. The higher we think about ourselves, the lower we think about Christ and His cross. The more we trust in ourselves and our own attainments, the less we will think about His gift of righteousness. Therefore, Paul actively regarded all those things that had given him a sense of entitlement as manure - nothing that would entitle him to receive anything good from God.

However, manure provides a good basis for growth, as long as we are willing to recognize its utility. Why was Paul so strenuous about this practice of humility? So that he would “gain Christ!” Receiving Christ requires that we see ourselves as we truly are – sinners who need a Savior. It also requires that we see Christ as He truly is – our only hope of deliverance from the darkness of conceit and death.

It had to be broken by decades of depression followed by panic attacks before I was willing and able to see my manure. Once seeing it, I began, with more earnestness, to cry out for the only One who could turn my rotting life into a garden.

Pursuing an accurate self-concept doesn’t simply get us into salvation’s door; it also bears a continual harvest – “the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” Learning more about Him and about us is the “truth that sets us free” (John 8:31-32).

How? In so many ways! As we learn and grow convinced of His all-sufficiency, we learn to put down our guard, to accept ourselves, and then to live the life to which He has called us.

Strangely, as my Savior has become more, and I less, I have been set free from so many self-concerns that had imprisoned me. I no longer obsess about myself but about Him and what He has done for me. As a result, I just want to serve Him.

What’s the Matter with Pride and Arrogance and what to Do about them

The Bible often denounces these two. Here’s an example:

• When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2 ) 

Why? Isn’t pride a good thing? Shouldn’t we take pride in doing a good job? Of course, but this isn’t the pride that the Bible teaches against – a pride which seeks to elevate self above others. Jesus told a parable in which a respected Pharisee looked down on a sinner who entered the temple:

• “But the [detested] tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' I tell you that this man, rather than the other [the Pharisee], went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”  (Luke 18:13-14)

Pride is self-exaltation. It therefore rejects anything that will expose the true self, while its opposite, humility, allows the light to expose its sin. One is no more deserving than the other. Both are sinners, but one is ready to receive correction, while pride is not. This is why Proverbs say that “with humility comes wisdom.”

Why does pride produce such bad fruit? The Apostle James explained:

• Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven [pride] but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. (James 3:13-17)

While the wisdom that comes from heaven is teachable, pride is not. The proud have convinced themselves that they are superior and have it all. Humility is self-reflective; pride is self-absorbed. Humility is opens door to the wisdom from above; pride is confident that it has all the wisdom it needs and therefore has closed the door. Consequently, pride is unteachable and is characterized by “envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

Pride is a powerful and often unseen addiction. It lifts us, but it always requires a greater fix of self-aggrandizement lest it thrust us to the ground. How do we rid ourselves of this horrible addiction? Prayer – crying out for the help of our Savior!

Hidden Blessings

The sweetest blessings are the ones far beyond our reach – the ones that seem unattainable, the ones for which we must wait the longest. The Book of Ruth is a book of delayed and completely unexpected blessing.

Because of a severe draught, Naomi and her husband left Israel to settle in a foreign land – Moab. Her husband died shortly after this. Her two sons married women of the land. However, before they conceived, both of her sons died and Naomi was left with two seemingly barren Moabitess daughters-in-law – Orpah and Ruth – and without hope of grandchildren.

It seemed as if her life was over. She had lost everything. It even seemed that “the hand of the Lord had gone against” her. She therefore ordered her daughters-in-law to return to their families where they would have better prospects of finding a real life.

Meanwhile, Naomi had heard that the draught in Israel had lifted, and she was determined to return. Orpah returned to her people. However, Ruth wouldn’t, and she memorably pleaded:

• “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17)

Nevertheless, Naomi had despaired of her faith in the wake of such misfortune. Upon her return to Bethlehem, when she was greeted by her old friends, she responded with gloom:

•  “Don’t call me Naomi [pleasant],” she told them. “Call me Mara [bitter], because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” (Ruth 1:20-21)

Back in Israel, the young Ruth proved her virtue. Instead of receiving the attentions of young suitors, she offered herself to Boaz, Naomi’s relative – the one man by whom Ruth could bare grandchildren for Naomi (Ruth 3:10)!

By the inscrutable grace of God, she conceived immediately and bore a child named Obed. This turned out to be such a wonderful and unexpected blessing that:

• The women said to Naomi: “Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel!  He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.” (Ruth 4:14-15)

Grandchildren were considered a great blessing, far more than they are today. There is no doubt that the women had any idea that their invocation regarding a “guardian protector” was prophetic. However, Naomi’s grandson Obed had been fated to beget Jesse, and Jesse, David the King of Israel.

We cannot contain such honor unless we have been prepared for it through periods of tears and loss. The more the cistern is carved and scraped out, the more water it will hold. The more disappointments and hardships, the greater capacity to contain blessing! Otherwise, the weeds of pride and arrogance, which abound in fertile soil, would choke out whatever good might be growing alongside.

Instead, we require a regular pruning to keep us healthy, as Jesus explained:

• “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” (John 15:1-2)

Some trees will kill themselves by their own growth if not pruned. However, the Lord is close to those He has cut back, the broken-hearted (Isa. 57:15; 66:1-2). Through David would come the promised King Messiah, and in His lineage, we can find many of the broken-hearted. The foreigner Ruth, a Moabitess, is accompanied by the prostitute Rahab, and a woman who had lost a number of husbands – a woman who had to seduce her father-in-law, Judah, in order to have children.

Naomi had no idea of the glory that would proceed from her. She had thought herself a victim of God, but He was preparing for something glorious through her – for the Savior of the world.