WELCOME WHAT HUMBLES AND HEALS

·       “There was none who sold himself to do what was evil in the sight of the Lord like Ahab, whom Jezebel his wife incited. He acted very abominably in going after idols, as the Amorites had done, whom the Lord cast out before the people of Israel.” (1 Kings 21:25-26; ESV)

However, when King Ahab heard God's judgment against him, he humbled himself, and this made all the difference. Therefore, God informed His prophet Elijah:

·       “'Have you seen how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself before me, I will not bring the disaster in his days; but in his son's days I will bring the disaster upon his house.'” (1 Kings 21:29)

Humility is so important before our Lord that He reversed Himself entirely regarding the worst of Israel's kings. It’s also important for us! Even the greatest of God's servants had to endure the severest  humbling experiences. After God had deprived Job of everything, he was angry with God, but even he had to be humbled so that he'd repent of his pride and rash charges against his God:

·       “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.” (Job 40:4-5)

·       “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes." (Job 42:5-6)

Paul had to be humbled with a "messenger from Satan" to prevent him from becoming proud (2 Cor. 12:7-10). Clearly, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (1 Peter 5:5)

I, therefore, must welcome and even embrace those things that humble me, however painful and discouraging they may be. Although Satan means them for evil, our Lord uses them to heal and conform us into His image.

And, by the way, don’t be surprised if these humbling experiences don’t make you feel cleansed but filthy and totally unworthy of anyway good from God. That’s what humbling is all about!

DEALING WITH DEEPLY ENTRENCHED SINS

We are afflicted with deeply entrenched sin. While some of our sins have ceased to plague us, others remain untamed, as Scripture warns:

• For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. (Galatians 5:17)

How then do we gain victory over our sins? Some would say that, since God understands that we will continue to struggle against sin in this life, we can simply accept their presence. After all, we don’t want to be legalists or to walk around dismayed about our moral failings. They therefore erroneously argue that we have to reject sin consciousness.

However appealing this message might sound, it is not biblical. Jesus taught that we have to endeavor to be like God:

• Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:48)

Peter agreed that the perfect Christ had to be our role model:

• As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." (1 Peter 1:14-16)

In fact, Holy living is never optional:

• Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. (Hebrews 12:14)

The Bible never gives us an excuse to sin. Even if we have a perfect moral track record, we still do not have the right to sin (Ezekiel 33:12).

Yet, we continue to sin! What then? We don’t give up! Not according to Paul:

• Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

But how do we press on in the midst of repeated failures to overcome sin, especially the internal ones? By knowing that pressing on is what is expected of us! Also by knowing that:

• If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. (1 John 1:9-10)

We cannot expect to become be sinless in this life. Anyone who claims this is a “liar.” Sinlessness will only become a reality when Christ returns for us:

• Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:2)

Why does our Savior abandon us to this often discouraging struggle against sin? Because we need it! An immediate victory over sin would not serve us well. Why not? We do not do well spiritually when everything is going well for us. The pagan King Nebuchadnezzar had been very proud of his accomplishments. However, God was merciful to him and struck him down with insanity for seven years. After these seven years, his mind was restored and his pride had been crushed. He therefore confessed:

• Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble. (Daniel 4:37)

Job was the most spiritual man in the entire earth, yet he too had become proud, as the prophetic Elihu revealed:

• "But you [Job] have said in my hearing-- I heard the very words-- 'I am pure and without sin; I am clean and free from guilt. Yet God has found fault with me; he considers me his enemy.’” (Job 33:8-10)

Elihu explained that, because of Job’s spiritual pride, God, in love, had to humble him:

• "But I tell you, in this you are not right, for God is greater than man. Why do you complain to him that he answers none of man's words? For God does speak… to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from pride, to preserve his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword… His soul draws near to the pit, and his life to the messengers of death. Yet if there is an angel on his side as a mediator, one out of a thousand, to tell a man what is right for him… then his flesh is renewed like a child's; it is restored as in the days of his youth. He prays to God and finds favor with him, he sees God's face and shouts for joy; he is restored by God to his righteous state. Then he comes to men and says, 'I sinned, and perverted what was right, but I did not get what I deserved. He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit, and I will live to enjoy the light.'” (Job 33:12-28)

For his own good, even Job needed to be humbled. We too need to be humbled in order to receive the blessings of God. Paul also had to learn this same lesson:

• To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

There is nothing that can humble us like our repeated moral failures. These teach us compassion and gratefulness for our Lord’s grace. Otherwise, we tend to trust in ourselves instead. Paul also had to learn this lesson:

• We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

We too need to learn this lesson, but this is a lesson we can only learn in our struggle against sin.

WHAT DOES CHRISTIAN GROWTH/SPIRITUALITY LOOK LIKE?

 We mistakenly think that growth is primarily about mastery over sin. We try harder, develop spiritual discipline and habits, and we apply every effort to uproot sin as the gardener pulls out weeds.

However, if we look at mastery over sin in these terms, we will fall into discouragement and despair. Rod Rosenbladt, a Lutheran theologian admits:

• "I fear that things have gotten worse in me rather than better. I have horribly abused all of God's good gifts to me. I was so optimistic in the beginning... That the Holy Spirit now dwelling within me would aid me in following Christ... I have re-dedicated myself to Christ more times than I can count. But it seems to stay the same, or even get worse, no matter what I do. Whatever the outer limits of Christ's are, I have certainly crossed them. I have utterly, continuously, and with planning aforethought blown it all. I guess I was never a Christian in the first place, because if I had been, I would have made some progress."

Perhaps Rosenbladt and most of us had been looking for fruit in the wrong place. Perhaps the way up to Christian maturity is the way down. Perhaps our broken limbs must first be re-broken and reset before they can heal properly. In this respect, McDavid, Richardson, and Zahl write:

• "The first fruit of grace is humility: not a lessening of sin so much as a deeper awareness of sin's continuing presence... Sins like lust and greed and stinginess are not fixed by habit-forming and effort... The Law must continue to convict us of our utter unrighteousness, and the Gospel must continue to save us." (Law & Gospel, 69)

Trying to obey the law humbles us, as it should. It shows us that we aren't as spiritual and deserving as we'd like to think (Romans 3:19-20). However, as we learn that we cannot adore ourselves, we learn to adore our Savior, who loves us despite our sins.

This was the lesson of a deeply sinful woman who boldly entered a home, where she didn't belong, to adoringly wash Jesus' feet. About her sacrificial behavior, Jesus explained:

• “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” (Luke 7:47)

We too need to learn about our unworthiness and the depths to which we have been forgiven so we can adore our Savior as we ought.

When I was first saved, I believed that God saved me because I was worthy of His mercy, certainly more worthy than others. Consequently, I was not as grateful as I should have been and, therefore, didn't enjoy His mercy as I now do. He therefore broke me so that He could heal me.

This lesson requires time and our many moral failures, which our attempts to follow the law make painfully obvious.

The Apostle Paul also had to learn this lesson, the painful way. Pride is the greatest enemy of humility and of receiving anything good from God. While pride is full of self and not receptive to the things of God, humility is empty and cries out to be filled.

Had not God chastened Paul with a satanic affliction to keep him from spiritual pride - perhaps the worst kind - Paul would have become puffed-up because of his knowledge and understanding. Through his failures and afflictions, he learned essential lessons:

• “For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Romans 7:22-24)

Only an understanding of his wretchedness and inability (2 Cor. 3:5) would prepare him to experience the glory of God:

• “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

Paul had to learn that it is all about God and not about his strengths and spiritual successes. And we too need to learn to delight in our weaknesses.

God's grace comes in unsuspected packages. It is disguised in failures and even in self- despair. If we look for evidence of His grace in the wrong places, we will not see it and become discouraged.

Elijah had been discouraged. Following "his" great triumph over the prophets of Baal, he ran away panicked at the threats of a woman. He must have regarded himself as the greatest spiritual flop. 

He needed a lift and probably expected to find it in an awesome display of his God's power, but God manifested Himself to Elijah in an unexpected and probably unwanted way:

• The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. (1 Kings 19:11-13)

Perhaps we too are looking for God in all the wrong places. Instead, growth must begin in brokenness and not in strength and conquest.

Hating Church

I am more convinced than ever that everything we need is found in Christ. Let me give you just one example. Sundays had been my hardest day. Going to church was not only dissatisfying; it was also an emotional obstacle course.

I compared it with going to a singles dance, only to watch all the young ladies chasing the other guys. It was also like going to a gourmet restaurant. The waiter would bring all of his appetizing plates to my nose before placing it down in front of someone else. Frustration! Anger – absolutely the last time!

That was my church experience. I tried many churches, hoping to be asked to teach only to see the dishes pass me by to be placed down in front of others. I was angry! What the matter with me that I was consistently passed over? Silence was the only answer I ever received. How then was I to enjoy church – the very place where I was consistently rejected?

However, in the midst of this painful set of experiences, I was granted something far better – the assured and ever-present awareness that Jesus died for me!  I now love the hymns of His mercy and the price He paid for me. The confession of sins and the accompanying assurance of forgiveness have become more valuable to me than teaching 20 classes and rejoice that my name is written in the Lamb’s book! Confidence in His recognition has become more meaningful than any human recognition. In short, I now look forward to corporate worship!

How did this slow and necessary transformation occur? Let me try to explain it. However, it might not be as easy as I would like. I can’t give you three easy transformational steps. It comes from above as do all good things. However, I think that I can put my finger on the critical element behind this change – a growing awareness of the depth of my sin and my utter hopelessness before it.

Although I knew that I was a sinner, I had minimized its depth – its extent and ugliness. Self-righteousness is the human default. When we humans elevate ourselves, we diminish the Lord and His gift of righteousness. In order to do this, we cover our sins with rationalizations – good deeds, attainments, popularity, and even money. Adam and Eve foolishly attempted to cover their sins with fig leaves.

Our coverings are no less foolish. I attempted to cover mine with positive affirmations about my surpassing value as a person. But I was paying a tremendous price for this fix. For positive affirmations to work, they must be believed. However, when we believe them, we lie to ourselves and distort the way we see reality, even the way we regard our Savior! It also takes time to root out this blindness and to clearly see ourselves (Rom. 12:3).

Self-righteousness – the belief that we are worthy - prevents us from appreciating the extent of the mercy of Christ. After all, if we are worthy, we will not highly esteem Christ’s gift. Jesus’ disciples had asked Him to increase their faith. Instead, He instructed them to regard themselves as unworthy servants (Luke 17:10). As long as we regard ourselves as worthy, we will not appreciate the fullness of Christ’s worthiness and love for us. As long as we regard ourselves as deserving, Christ will not receive the glory and honor He deserves. The higher we value ourselves, the less we will value our Savior and the less we will rejoice in Him.

What has Christ taught me? This may sound strange, but, mercifully, He taught me that I am among the worst sinners – totally unworthy of anything that is His, even a smile or a “thank you!”

Oddly, this realization, as painful as it had been, liberated me from church-angst. Before, the hymns and other forms of worship had left me feeling that I didn’t fit. In my heart, I wasn’t adoring Christ as I ought. In this vacuum, my life was more about me and less about Him. However, as I began to see my unworthiness in 3-D, I grew in gratefulness of Him. My eyes therefore turned to Him and away from the bondage to self-obsessions.

As the Apostle Paul had stated, dying to self-esteem and self-trust is a critical element of the Christian life:

• But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything [I had trusted in] a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ  and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  (Phil. 3:7-9)

Gaining Christ - our confidence in Him - is a matter of investing all of our trust in Him and not in our own pedigree or attainments. It is a matter of regarding our own “righteousness” for what it is – garbage!

Over time, this realization made a great difference in my life. I no longer have to prove myself. Instead, my entire identity and personhood are buried in Christ (Gal. 2:20). However, there are also other essentials. Professor of systematic theology, Joel Beeke, wrote:

• Obedience increases assurance… William Ames wrote, “He that doth rightly understand the promise of the covenant cannot be sure of his salvation unless he perceives in himself true faith and repentance.”

This means that we are not going to have the confidence, joy, and gratefulness that we ought unless we are devoted to the Lord. In line with this, Paul assured would-be deacons that devotion to this work (among many other forms of service) would produce “great confidence in the faith” (1 Tim. 3:13).

In short, as we grow in faith and obedience, we will also grow in gratefulness to our Lord and in joy of worship, while we decrease in our own esteem. He must grow greater!

Waiting for God, even through the Tears

Thirty five years ago, a young man made an altar call. He was very troubled about his new life in Christ and prayed:

• Lord, I’m willing to serve you, but I just don’t see how I can. I don’t have any desire to serve. It all seems too burdensome to me.

He made this same altar call on numerous occasions. Not only didn’t he have the desire to serve, but he also felt entirely alienated from other Christians. They seemed to think differently than he. Their experiences didn’t match his own. It felt as if he occupied an entirely different world from theirs.

This also contributed to his sense of isolation from Jesus and his doubts that he was even saved. All of this tormented him, and he wondered why his new found Savior wasn’t answering his prayers. Was there something irremediably wrong with him?

He was sure that there was. He had suffered from years of depression and panic attacks, and it therefore seemed that either God really didn’t love him that much or that He couldn’t do anything about his weaknesses.

However, imperceptibly, things began to change. Jesus told a parable about growth. He compared it to seeds that grow by themselves without the knowledge and assistance of the farmer (Mark 4:26-28). It didn’t matter whether the farmer remained awake or asleep, this mysterious growth would continue. And it has!

Surprisingly, now there is nothing I’d rather do than to serve my God. I am consumed by this endeavor. Every joy I have is somehow connected to this occupation. Every hope is enslaved by it. However, this doesn’t mean that I no longer have struggles. In fact, He continues to give growth to His seed through my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9-10), even my incomprehension (2 Cor. 4:1-11).

Consequently, I remain a man of many weaknesses. I struggle with my highly negative, irritable, critical, anxious and angry nature. This hasn’t made me easy to live with; nor has it made me the ideal husband. For years I’ve prayed that I wouldn’t be so negative towards my wife and instead cherish her as the precious gift God had given me.

Oddly, I’d feel very tender and warm towards her when we were apart, even for a few hours. She would appear so lovely to me. But when we’d reconnect, I’d find that the spell had been broken, and I was helpless to change this.

However, the seed of God’s planting continued to grow and the warm glow I’d experience when we were apart began to invade our times together.

How could such a thing happen? Certainly not by my manipulations! It happened as I sleep; it grew even as I doubted.

Why do I write about this now? To glorify our Savior and to pass onto you the encouragement of the Psalmist:

• As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he shows us his mercy. (Psalm 123:2)

Just wait for Him! Praise the Lord!

Suffering: A Gift or a Curse?

Suffering is a reality of life, especially the Christian life. In fact, rarely have I met a Christian who isn’t suffering, some intensely. And it is understandable and natural that we ask, “Why me, God?”

However, in order to answer this common and perplexing question, we need to make a distinction between the suffering and our understanding of it. Interestingly, for some, the suffering can be unbearable; for others, it is entirely bearable. What makes the difference? The way we understand it! If we understand our suffering as something necessary and therefore good, it becomes bearable. If we understand it as a curse, it feels like a curse.

Two friends both contracted incurable illnesses. One regarded it as a curse, a sign of God’s disfavor, and he experienced it as a curse. The other regarded his illness as a sign of God’s love and faithfulness and therefore regarded it as a blessing. He understood that God disciplines His children out of His great love, and therefore saw his disease as a gift from God (Heb. 12:5-11).

But is it really a gift or are we just conning ourselves? According to Scripture, if we want to reign with Christ and bear His image to the world, we must endure suffering (2 Cor. 4:10-11). Paul was arguably the greatest missionary known to the church. However, he had to be prepared for this great work and honor through extreme suffering.

In the process of persecuting the church, God struck him down with blindness. Then He instructed the faithful Ananias to lay his hands upon Paul to heal him of his blindness. Ananias complained that Paul was the leading enemy of the church. However, God revealed that Paul was His chosen one and that Paul would have to suffer terribly for Him:

•  But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” (Acts 9:15-16)

However, Paul learned to value his suffering:

•  Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked…I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.  Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.

The suffering seems to have produced great compassion in him.

•  Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? (2 Cor. 11:24-29)

Nevertheless, he pleaded with God to remove a certain unnamed affliction. However, God informed him that He wouldn’t, and that by doing so would have an adverse affect on Paul. He subsequently came to understand that when he was weak, it was then that he became strong in faith through the grace of God (2 Cor. 12:7-10). Consequently, he came to regard suffering as a gift and not a curse.

I too have come to regard suffering as a precious gift. However, this understanding didn’t come until after decades of suffering depression, followed by panic attacks. Only in retrospect did I come to see that the suffering served to release me from psychological imprisonment unto a faith and a reliance upon Him through His Word, as David had reflected:

•   It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. (Psalm 119:71).

Paul also explained that suffering served as a trainer to show him the foolishness of self-trust and the necessity for God-trust:

•  We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Cor. 1:8-9).

Self-trust is our natural default position. Only the fires of suffering can consume it and the arrogance that self-reliance breeds.

Surgery can be painful, but it is also necessary. It can be a blessing. God’s mysterious surgery is also a blessing. To regard it as a curse is to misunderstand both God and His ways. It’s also to make the suffering far worse.