OUR INADEQUACY

I’ve been thinking about Paul’s surprising words:

·       For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing...For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. (Romans 7:18-19, 22-23 ESV)

“This must refer to Paul’s pre-Christian life,” I thought. However, reading on, I found that he was referring to his life in Christ:

·       Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. (Romans 7:24-25 ; Galatians 5:17)

These words are of great interest to me because they express the way I feel. Tonight, I was talking to a man who is writing about how meditation has been able to give him some measure of mind control and, with it, peace.

I admitted to him that I haven’t been able to master mind control. Worries, fears, impatience, and anxiety continue despite my faith and my efforts to implement it.

This has made me feel ashamed of myself and even my faith. However, I reminded myself of the time I endured a rollercoaster ride. I had faith that I’d get off alive but it certainly didn’t feel that way during this ordeal, as I screamed my way through every dip and turn. This illustrated the fact that it is possible to have faith but yet terror at the same time.

I continue to return to the words of Paul and of Jesus: “Without me, you can do nothing!” (John 15:5). So true! I often feel inadequate and helpless.

Why does our Lord leave us to endure such devastating feelings? Because He loves us and wants us to trust in Him EXCLUSIVELY! Peter described the process of faith purification:

·       In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:6-7)

Peter compared the refinement of our faith to gold, something of far lesser value. Gold ore is melted in a cauldron. The impurities are released and rise to the surface so that they can be removed.

When we are subjected to the cauldron, our impurities rise to the surface so that they too can be observed and rejected. Through this process, we are humbled, as Paul had been through his thorn-in-the-flesh.

However, to make fine gold, this same process must be repeated many times.

If we are not repeatedly subjected to God’s cauldron, we become proud and begin to believe in our own sufficiency as Paul would have been without his own cauldron (2 Corinthians 3:5; 12:7-10). Peter returned to this same theme:

·       Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. (1 Peter 4:12-13).

Suffering not only causes us to despair of our own abilities but also causes us to long for the return of our blessed Redeemer.

As a result, when He does return, we will cry out “Yes.”

Suffering: A Gift or a Curse?

Suffering is a reality of life, especially the Christian life. In fact, rarely have I met a Christian who isn’t suffering, some intensely. And it is understandable and natural that we ask, “Why me, God?”

However, in order to answer this common and perplexing question, we need to make a distinction between the suffering and our understanding of it. Interestingly, for some, the suffering can be unbearable; for others, it is entirely bearable. What makes the difference? The way we understand it! If we understand our suffering as something necessary and therefore good, it becomes bearable. If we understand it as a curse, it feels like a curse.

Two friends both contracted incurable illnesses. One regarded it as a curse, a sign of God’s disfavor, and he experienced it as a curse. The other regarded his illness as a sign of God’s love and faithfulness and therefore regarded it as a blessing. He understood that God disciplines His children out of His great love, and therefore saw his disease as a gift from God (Heb. 12:5-11).

But is it really a gift or are we just conning ourselves? According to Scripture, if we want to reign with Christ and bear His image to the world, we must endure suffering (2 Cor. 4:10-11). Paul was arguably the greatest missionary known to the church. However, he had to be prepared for this great work and honor through extreme suffering.

In the process of persecuting the church, God struck him down with blindness. Then He instructed the faithful Ananias to lay his hands upon Paul to heal him of his blindness. Ananias complained that Paul was the leading enemy of the church. However, God revealed that Paul was His chosen one and that Paul would have to suffer terribly for Him:

•  But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” (Acts 9:15-16)

However, Paul learned to value his suffering:

•  Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked…I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.  Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.

The suffering seems to have produced great compassion in him.

•  Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? (2 Cor. 11:24-29)

Nevertheless, he pleaded with God to remove a certain unnamed affliction. However, God informed him that He wouldn’t, and that by doing so would have an adverse affect on Paul. He subsequently came to understand that when he was weak, it was then that he became strong in faith through the grace of God (2 Cor. 12:7-10). Consequently, he came to regard suffering as a gift and not a curse.

I too have come to regard suffering as a precious gift. However, this understanding didn’t come until after decades of suffering depression, followed by panic attacks. Only in retrospect did I come to see that the suffering served to release me from psychological imprisonment unto a faith and a reliance upon Him through His Word, as David had reflected:

•   It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. (Psalm 119:71).

Paul also explained that suffering served as a trainer to show him the foolishness of self-trust and the necessity for God-trust:

•  We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Cor. 1:8-9).

Self-trust is our natural default position. Only the fires of suffering can consume it and the arrogance that self-reliance breeds.

Surgery can be painful, but it is also necessary. It can be a blessing. God’s mysterious surgery is also a blessing. To regard it as a curse is to misunderstand both God and His ways. It’s also to make the suffering far worse.