I’ve talked to so many atheists who have rejected God because:
- I’ve prayed to God repeatedly and received only silence.
For many years, this too had been my experience. I had been so depressed that I was willing to try anything. I talked to Christians who explained that:
- Once you reach the bottom, God will respond to you.
Well, I was sure that I was at the bottom, and God didn’t respond to my pleas. I felt so rejected that I cursed Him with the worst words I could conjure up. However, years later He did manifest Himself to me when I was truly at the end. Alone, I was bleeding to death as the result of a horrible chain saw injury, but I wasn’t alone. I suddenly realized, beyond any doubt, that He was with me and would protect me, even through death. I was ecstatic and knew at that moment that God was my Savior. I also knew that I had to find out His identity, and I did. I am now convinced that it was Jesus who had manifested Himself to me!
I therefore want to offer some encouragement to those who have been disappointed in their pursuit of God:
God’s timing isn’t our timing. Moses waited 40 years in the most humbling of circumstances for God to manifest. Meanwhile, God had been preparing Moses for this encounter, making him into the most humble of men.
Our God receives everyone who comes to Him. Jesus said that He receives all who come and promises to raise us up in the last day (John 6:37-40). Scripture assures us that any who sincerely cry out for God will find His mercy (Rom. 10:13). The writings of the Bible uniformly assure us that any who seek will find (Deut. 4:29; Mat. 7:7-8). Why hadn’t I found God earlier? Well, I wasn’t really seeking after God. I was merely seeking after relief – any pill that would work.
Normally we don’t want God. He is an offense to us. He reveals to us what we are really all about, and we can’t stand such a disclosure (John 3:19-20; 7:7). Consequently, we reject everything about God (1 Cor. 2:14; Rom 5:8-10; 8:5-8). Therefore, if we really want to know about God, it means that God must be drawing us (John 6:40-45). This means that He will eventually satisfy this desire; so please don’t despair. Keep seeking Him!
Sometimes, He has already received us, but we wrongly suppose that we need to have a great experience to signify that we are saved. Instead, Scripture assures us that if we simply believe, we have everlasting life (John 3:16). If we have little confidence that we believe, this is okay. Jesus just beckons us to follow Him, and in this way, we will know the reality of His words (John 7:17).
For those who want Him, He provides many reassurances. His Apostles all fell away from the faith following the crucifixion. However, He restored them through His many resurrection appearances. He can also do this for us.
Even after all of the confirmation He has given me, by nature, I remain a skeptic. However, even in the midst of my skepticism and unfaithfulness, He remains faithful to me. In my weakness, He creates strength.
I write this way so that you will not despair of God. Please do not hesitate to write me if I can be of service.