HUMILITY—SEEING OURSELVES ACCURATELY

 

 

A God-believing friend told me, “I don’t like the idea of evolution, because it reduces us to animals lacking any meaning or purpose.” I agreed, but then he said, “ For the same reason, I do not like Christianity, because it reduces us to dirty-rotten sinners and  damages our self-esteem.”

I could see his point, but I am convinced that he is missing a lot. In fact, we are truly dirty rotten sinners who deserve to be condemned by an all-righteous God. But this same God has provided the perfect remedy through Jesus, who paid for our sins by dying for us and making peace between those who have received Him and God:

·       Romans 3:10–13 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.” “The venom of asps is under their lips.”

·       Romans 3:23–24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

·       Romans 3:27–28 Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By a law of works? No, but by the law of faith. For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law.

According to the Scriptures, boasting, arrogance, and pride are the enemies of humility, other-centeredness, truth, and transparency. They are in direct opposition. Therefore, we can only choose one or the other—building self-esteem or humbling ourselves to the truth. Jesus and the rest of the Bible consistently taught in favor of humility:

·       Matthew 23:12 “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

But doesn’t humility come at the price of sacrificing our self-esteem and self-confidence? Absolutely! Jesus made plain the hidden costs of self-trust:

·       Luke 18:9–14  [Jesus] told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified [reconciled to God], rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The edifice of self-trust can only be built upon the contempt for those “beneath” us and the continual feeding of our self-esteem. It is not enough for us to think that we are worthy and significant. Instead, we need to think that we are better and more deserving than others. This is the plight of the narcissist who requires a steady stream of the self-adoration drug . Before God will exalt him, He must break him of his mind-altering drug addiction, something few can see and are willing to surrender. Otherwise, he will regard God’s blessings as his entitlement by virtue of his “superiority”—a relationship killer in every way!

I am convinced that this addiction can only be broken as God provides us with a far better substitute—His affirming, loving and reassuring care. However, His purifying fires can be horribly painful.

How can we endure our repeated meltdowns? No one enjoys enduring withdrawal from our narcissistic drug. However, in John 8:31–32, Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” How?

·       Once we stop trusting in and obsessing about our own virtue and adequacy, we can begin to trust in our loving Savior as never before and who will give us rest (Matthew 11:28-30).

·       Having humbled us, He can begin to exalt us in ways we had never before imagined: Ephesians 3:19–20 …”know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.”

·       Knowing that we are beloved by our Savior, we no longer need to crave the love and affirmations of others. This frees us from our dependence upon them to meet our needs to become centered on their needs.

·       Humility can take criticism and failure. Why? Because my life no longer depends on these things and maintaining my self-esteem but on the love and care of our Savior. However, before I knew Jesus, I had used many strategies to protect the foundation of my life.

·       Humility doesn’t always have to be on the defensive and to always be right.

·       Knowing His acceptance of us, we can begin to accept ourselves despite our many failures and also to accept others.

·       No longer needing to prove ourselves to others, we are free to be transparent and to even laugh at ourselves.

·       If we are blind to ourselves and our cravings, we remain blind to those of others. However, as we come to understand ourselves, we begin to understand others and their needs.

·       Because we have been set free from the demanding ever-present need to exalt ourselves, we can now see ourselves accurately. Knowing that God is for us, even though we are not worthy of Him, we no longer need to promote ourselves and to manipulate others to approve of us.

God has satisfied our most basic needs so that our weary souls can find rest and freedom.

Through humility our Lord offers freedom, peace, and the knowledge of the truth. It is the fertile soil from which all virtues must grow, but it is also the gift of God. From my experience, we will no sooner seek the truth about ourselves than a mouse would seek a cat.