THE MAKING OF A MISSIONARY

Paul was arguably the greatest missionary the Church has known. Interestingly, he had also been its greatest sinner (1 Tim. 1:15-16). How was God able to take a man who had been a hard-hearted oppressor and to convert him into a tender-hearted servant? Once, he had been forcing Christians to renounce Jesus, and now he was pleading with them, by any means, to receive Him:

·       To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. (1 Corinthians 9:22; ESV)

What brought about this transformation? This is a question that all of us who want to be Christ-like ask.

The faithful Christian, Ananias, could hardly believe that such a transformation was possible. After God had told him to go to Paul and to lay his hands on him in prayer to receive his sight back, Ananias assumed that God was making a grave mistake. However, He explained:

·       “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” (Acts 9:15-16)

We can do nothing without God (2 Cor. 3:5; John 15:4-5). We must be chosen and equipped, but how does God equip? Paul wouldn’t be able to “carry my name before the Gentiles…” without suffering “for the sake of my name.”

I want to be everything to the Lord, but the extent of Paul’s suffering is mind-boggling. He related:

·       You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me… (Galatians 4:13-14)

Whatever his “bodily ailment,” it was a “trial to” the Galatians, something that might have caused them to “scorn or despise” Paul. How humiliating!

We do not know what this horrid ailment was. However, Paul understood that it had mysteriously enabled him to preach the Gospel.

Perplexing? Paul was taught that his work depended on learning to trust in God. This meant that he could no longer trust in Himself – his own abilities and winsomeness:

·       For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

To learn to not trust in ourselves is horribly painful. It means being stripped of our pride and even our confidence that people will like, respect, and receive us. Paul’s ailment had caused him to despair of such confidence.

However, the stripping away of self-confidence and our pleasures took many other forms:

·       To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things. (1 Corinthians 4:11-13)

Am I willing to pick up such a Cross? Can I? Certainly not by my own strength! “Lord help me!” And He does. Paul extended to us the promise of Christ-like-ness, one that would come with a price-tag:

·       Always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. (2 Corinthians 4:10-11)

How can we endure this? Humanly, we cannot. Why am I relating this? To encourage you that our Lord has a purpose for your suffering. He is preparing you. Use this gift of suffering, knowing that it is not about you but about Him (Gal 2:20)!

The extent of Paul’s suffering was unbelievable:

·       With far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (2 Corinthians 11:23-27)

Through God’s incomprehensible ministrations, instead of breaking Paul, God used suffering to produce in him a heart of compassion, as the next two verses demonstrate:

·       And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant?

As if this wasn’t enough suffering, God added a “thorn in the flesh” in order to keep Paul humble and dependent. But He also gave Paul the understanding that His grace was enough to keep him afloat:

·       But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

If only we might learn that weakness is a gift. It forces us to look above to our only source of hope and strength. This is the only way that we can serve Him. “If God is for us, who can be against us” (Romans 8:31-32)!

Consequently, I inform my students that I no longer trust in myself; nor do I want too, lest I be deprived of the power of God.

Our Lord is able to make the least and most unworthy of us to stand for Him:

·       Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. (Romans 14:4)

I trust that the Lord will equip me to serve Him, even in martyrdom, if this is His calling. Therefore, let us take up our Cross.

TRYING TO DEAL WITH SUFFERING

The Bible doesn't sugar-coat suffering. It lays it out before us, even showing us what to expect - that we too will bring indictments against God:

·       “Yet for your sake we are killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered. Awake! Why are you sleeping, O Lord? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever! Why do you hide your face? Why do you forget our affliction and oppression? For our soul is bowed down to the dust; our belly clings to the ground. Rise up; come to our help! Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!” (Psalms 44:22-26)

While the Bible doesn't endorse our accusations against God, He certainly wants to show us that they are normal. God didn't approve of Job's understandable accusations. Instead, He denounced Job for them:

·       “Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: 'Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge'?” (Job 38:1-2)

·       “Shall a faultfinder [Job] contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it." (Job 40:2)

Job had been suffering so much that we shouldn't be too quick to indict him because of his accusations, but God certainly could and did.

The Psalmists also brought indictments against God and so do we, sometimes against our will. I pray that He remove or at least soften my character defects so that I would not utter what I shouldn't.

However, we also need to know that our suffering serves a very good purpose in the hands of God, who works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). Otherwise, we tend to become overwhelmed by grief.

I am amazed at the life of Paul, arguably the greatest missionary. However, God had made him suffer more than others. He had been beaten on 49 occasions, sometimes even left for dead. On top of that, God allowed Satan to afflict Paul with a thorn in his flesh so that he would not become conceited.

Paul made reference to his shameful affliction:

·       “You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 4:13-14)

Evidently, this "bodily ailment" had been so severe and obvious and perhaps even shameful that he thanked the Galatians for putting up with him.

These are the prices we pay when we are given a readiness to serve the Lord fully. It makes me think, "Without such afflictions, would I not become proud?" If Paul would have succumbed, I have little doubt that I too would fall had I not been given my humbling afflictions.

Paul had learned a valuable lesson from his afflictions:

·       “But he [God] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

The road to Christlike-ness is the road of affliction. This is the lesson we need to learn - over and over again! May we all readily accept and even boast in our weaknesses.

Suffering: A Gift or a Curse?

Suffering is a reality of life, especially the Christian life. In fact, rarely have I met a Christian who isn’t suffering, some intensely. And it is understandable and natural that we ask, “Why me, God?”

However, in order to answer this common and perplexing question, we need to make a distinction between the suffering and our understanding of it. Interestingly, for some, the suffering can be unbearable; for others, it is entirely bearable. What makes the difference? The way we understand it! If we understand our suffering as something necessary and therefore good, it becomes bearable. If we understand it as a curse, it feels like a curse.

Two friends both contracted incurable illnesses. One regarded it as a curse, a sign of God’s disfavor, and he experienced it as a curse. The other regarded his illness as a sign of God’s love and faithfulness and therefore regarded it as a blessing. He understood that God disciplines His children out of His great love, and therefore saw his disease as a gift from God (Heb. 12:5-11).

But is it really a gift or are we just conning ourselves? According to Scripture, if we want to reign with Christ and bear His image to the world, we must endure suffering (2 Cor. 4:10-11). Paul was arguably the greatest missionary known to the church. However, he had to be prepared for this great work and honor through extreme suffering.

In the process of persecuting the church, God struck him down with blindness. Then He instructed the faithful Ananias to lay his hands upon Paul to heal him of his blindness. Ananias complained that Paul was the leading enemy of the church. However, God revealed that Paul was His chosen one and that Paul would have to suffer terribly for Him:

•  But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” (Acts 9:15-16)

However, Paul learned to value his suffering:

•  Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked…I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.  Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.

The suffering seems to have produced great compassion in him.

•  Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? (2 Cor. 11:24-29)

Nevertheless, he pleaded with God to remove a certain unnamed affliction. However, God informed him that He wouldn’t, and that by doing so would have an adverse affect on Paul. He subsequently came to understand that when he was weak, it was then that he became strong in faith through the grace of God (2 Cor. 12:7-10). Consequently, he came to regard suffering as a gift and not a curse.

I too have come to regard suffering as a precious gift. However, this understanding didn’t come until after decades of suffering depression, followed by panic attacks. Only in retrospect did I come to see that the suffering served to release me from psychological imprisonment unto a faith and a reliance upon Him through His Word, as David had reflected:

•   It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. (Psalm 119:71).

Paul also explained that suffering served as a trainer to show him the foolishness of self-trust and the necessity for God-trust:

•  We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Cor. 1:8-9).

Self-trust is our natural default position. Only the fires of suffering can consume it and the arrogance that self-reliance breeds.

Surgery can be painful, but it is also necessary. It can be a blessing. God’s mysterious surgery is also a blessing. To regard it as a curse is to misunderstand both God and His ways. It’s also to make the suffering far worse.