MASOCHISM: SELF-ATONEMENT AND SELF-PUNISHMENT

We are bound up by powerful psychological needs. A leading culprit is the need to punish ourselves - masochism. This impulse is so powerful that it lies at the heart of much that we call “religion.” Why? Guilt, shame, and the pervasive sense that we are undeserving are so powerful, that we have been forced to seek out various strategies to alleviate these feelings. According to Wikiversity.org:

·       This may be a motivating factor for cases of some religious activities, physically or verbally abusive relationships, self-harm, obsessive emotions, abstinence and castration, and typical masochism.

We fail to realize how pervasive and powerful is the masochistic impulse. We also tend to fail to understand its logic. It is not about the pain but what self-punishment can accomplish:

·       People may put up with pain just to receive a corresponding pleasant experience, but not actually take pleasure from the pain itself (Klein, 2014; Sandler, 1964). In these cases it is the end state of achievement that is desired, not the journey which involves the unpleasant sensations. Pain that is endured for the sake of the goal, which would not be engaged in if the goal could be achieved another way, may not be considered truly masochistic (Klein, 2014).

·       For some, masochism may be a way of avoiding or atoning for feelings of guilt (Baumeister, 1988; Haliparn, & Haliparn 2004; Katz 1990)…If a person feels guilty, and that they deserve punishment, suffering may seem rational, but some masochists may feel this guilt without justification (Goldstein, 1983). The feeling of deserving undesirable sensations may lead people to put themselves into situations which they know will be likely to have undesirable consequences, such as physically or emotionally abusive relationships (Haliparn, & Haliparn, 2004).

It seems that all religious groups contain sects that have practiced self-depravations and self-immolations, including whippings and cuttings, as attempts to become acceptable to the deities. This has also been true of certain “Christian” groups. In “A History of Torture,” George Riley Scott, meticulously catalogues these perversions:

·       Early Christians deprived themselves of the necessities of life: eating such poor diets that they suffered physical illnesses, living in squalid and unhygienic conditions in remote places. They flagellated themselves and allowed their wounds to become infected. They chained themselves to fixed objects. They lived for years on top of tall pillars. They walled themselves up in tiny, dark, infested holes. Sometimes they wore nothing at all except perhaps a girdle of thorns. Such practices passed into traditional monastic life, which established standardised privations known as "the discipline". Monks, nuns and others were frequently scourged, either routinely or for minor offences. Saint. Kevin spent his days either standing naked in one of the frigid lakes of Ireland, or hurling himself naked into a patch of nettles. Either way, like many other saints, he seemed to have preferred life without his clothes on.

As the plague stalked fourteenth century Europe, a flagellant sect arose. They thought that the plague was a sign of God’s displeasure and punishment. Therefore, the flagellants paraded through Europe whipping one another, convinced that this would earn God’s favor. And for this, they received high grades from their admirers.

However many examples of self-punishment might be found within the annuls of Christianity, these examples represent the exact opposite of the Christian faith. Christ paid the price for our sins so that we no longer have to pay for them:

·       In Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation…For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:19, 21; ESV)

As the “righteousness of God,” we need not continue to pay for our sins. We are already righteous in the eyes of God. No more self-atonement! Jesus paid the price in full. Therefore, to punish ourselves represents a denial of what Jesus had accomplished for us on the Cross! Without this knowledge and assurance, masochism will continue to dominate our lives. The late Christian thinker, Rousas Rushdoony, provided several examples of this psychological captivity:

·       Alcoholism is a well-known form of self-punishment, and marriage to a known alcoholic is also Masochistic. For example, when an alcoholic husband quits drinking the major problem is very often the wife, who has now lost her "cross to bear". Her behaviour can become bizzare and erratic as she seeks a new form of self-punishment. Having now "lost her cross"; she may drive the man back to drink again to regain her "cross".

Masochism (self-atonement) expresses itself in many different ways. According to Rushdooney, even good deeds can reflect the quest for self-atonement:

·       Playing the role of "public saint" in order to "atone" for private guilt. "The more unpleasant the role, the more desirable its function for purposes of atonement...Self conscious burden-bearing, public works of virtue, worrying and fretting, worship or penance, all serve as devices for self-atonement, as forms of do-it-yourself salvation."

Self-atonement can even become the mindset of a nation:

·       Larger group concentrations featuring co-operation between Masochists is not unknown. As a matter of fact, entire nations and groups of people can be involved in "collective guilt" or "national guilt". (Rushdooney, “The Politics of Guilt and Pity,” Fairfax, Virginia. Thoburn Press. 1978).

Most plainly, we see this in Germany, which has led the way in opening their doors to Muslim refugees. As one German put it, “We want to make it plain that we are no longer Nazis.” Many Germans still feel that they have to pay a psychological price of self-atonement for their past sins, even if it costs them their destruction.

Pope Benedict XVI wrote about another form of masochism – self-atonement. He noted how Western culture, en masse, has turned against its own Christian heritage:

• This case illustrates a peculiar western self-hatred that is nothing short of pathological. It is commendable that the West is trying to be more open, to be more understanding of the values of outsiders, but it has lost all capacity for self-love. All that it sees in its own history is the despicable and the destructive; it is no longer able to perceive what is great and pure…Multiculturalism, which is so constantly and passionately promoted, can sometimes amount to an abandonment and denial, a flight from one’s own heritage. 

Hence, the Western intellectual establishes his virtue or “manhood” by self-denial, by rejecting his own culture. Author Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a Somali Muslim turned atheist, shares this insight:

• In certain countries, "left-wing," secular liberals have stimulated my critical thinking and that of other Muslims. But these same liberals in Western politics have the strange habit of blaming themselves for the ills of the world, while seeing the rest of the world as victims. To them, victims are to be pitied, and they lump together all pitiable and suppressed people, such as Muslims, and consider them good people who should be cherished and supported so that they can overcome their disadvantages. The adherents to the gospel of multiculturalism refuse to criticize people whom they see as victims. Some Western critics disapprove of United States policies and attitudes but do not criticize the Islamic world, just as, in the first part of the twentieth century, Western socialist apologists did not dare criticize the Soviet labor camps. Along the same lines, some Western intellectuals criticize Israel, but they will not criticize Palestine because Israel belongs to the West, which they consider fair game, but they feel sorry for the Palestinians, and for the Islamic world in general, which is not as powerful as the West. They are critical of the native white majority in Western countries but not of Islamic minorities. Criticism of the Islamic world, of Palestinians, and of Islamic minorities is regarded as Islamophobia and xenophobia.

Self-castigation is subtly and subconsciously understood as a reasonable payment for self-validation, a necessary defense against shame. It works something like this: “I am a good and worthy person if I champion the interests of others and am willing to criticize my own traditions.” Underlying this is the awareness that there is something wrong with us and that we deserve to be punished.

We seem to have an internal and inescapable script defining what it means to be deserving and worthy. This script demands that we pay for these necessary commodities through various forms of self-sacrifice, a punishment for our sins.

Instead of seeking the forgiveness and reconciliation that can only come from the One who has died for our sins, we seek to establish our righteousness through our own suffering. This was also Paul’s understanding of Israel:

• Israel who pursued a law that would lead to righteousness did not succeed in reaching that law. Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith [in Christ], but as if it were based on [their own] works. (Romans 9:31-32; ESV)

This is also what Adam and Eve did. Instead of confessing their sin to God, they were determined to cover it themselves. However, fig leaves cannot adequately cover sin and guilt. Why not? Essentially, we were designed for a healing relationship with the Divine. However, we feverishly attempt to neutralize our pain, our awareness that something is not right within, with a variety of substitutes. Although masochism, self-denial, and even good deeds might provide temporary relief, they will never provide the freedom that only our Lord can provide.

SUFFERING IS TOUGH TO ENDURE WHEN WE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY

We tend to regard suffering as a negative. However, from God's perspective, it's a necessary positive, as Peter has written:

·       “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.” (1 Peter 4:1-2 ESV)

Suffering, in God's hand, turns us away from sin and to God. This doesn't mean that we will be liberated from sin but from a sinful lifestyle. Instead, we will be seeking to please our Savior.

Suffering also prepares us for the return of our Savior:

·       “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

Suffering prevents us from becoming too comfortable here. It refocuses our sight onto the things above, causing us to long for the return of Christ!

How unwelcoming we'd be to our Savior if we told Him on His return: "Great to see you, Jesus. But could you postpone your return for a couple months. You see, we got a cruise coming up and I'm due for a promotion."

Suffering also readies us in another way:

·       “For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?” (1 Peter 4:17)

Suffering also humbles us by exposing what we have buried - our self-centeredness. According to Peter, membership in the body of Christ requires us to be humbled so that God will exalt us:

·       “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:5-7)

Humility will not come about without suffering. We would rather exalt ourselves. Therefore, we need to first be convinced that God's ways are better than our own. Suffering reveals the poverty of our own agenda, forcing us to embrace His.

Until this happened for me, I failed to see much of God's grace in my life. However, the more He has humbled me, the more I have seen of His goodness.

We need to understand these things. Without this understanding, we will think that God has failed or rejected us, the very thing that Satan wants us to believe:

·       “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, KNOWING that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” (1 Peter 5:8-9)

We need to know and understand that suffering is necessary medicine, which we all are called upon to ingest. If we don't, we will despair when suffering comes knocking. Besides, if we don't understand this, we will be fair game for Satan.

We also need to understand that suffering is not only a gift, but it is also temporary:

·       “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” (1 Peter 5:10)

WARNINGS:

1. Even after you are armed with this understanding, suffering will still remain painful. That's what it's supposed to be (Heb. 12:5-11).

2. We should still look for a way of escape from the suffering. This might be God's way of rescuing you:

·       “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

He is our Deliverer!

Suffering: Handling the Inevitable

Many have told me:

• My life is perfectly fine the way it is. I see no need for a God, thank you!

I do not dispute their feelings. They know about what they are feeling better than I do. However, I do point out that they will not always feel this way. Life is filled with frustrations, failures, failing health issues, and just plain suffering. It is certain that things will change, even for those who have everything.

As a consequence, we will have to learn how to deal with suffering, but how? It isn’t easy. When we hurt, we obsess, trying to make sense out of predicament. We ask questions like, “Why do bad things happen to good people,” or “Why do bad things happen to me, and how do I make the pain end.” Often times, we can’t!

In The Noonday Demon, termed by one reviewer as “the definitive book on depression,” Andrew Solomon, himself a long-time sufferer, recommended humor, but admitted:

• "Of course it can be hard to sustain a sense of humor during an experience that is really not so funny. It is urgently necessary to do so…Whatever time is eaten by a depression is gone forever. The minutes that are ticking by as you experience the illness are minutes that you will not know again. No matter how bad you feel you have to do everything you can to keep living, even if all you can do for the moment is breathe. Wait it out and occupy the time of waiting as fully as you can. That’s my big piece of advice to depressed people."

However, it is hard to wait, especially when we lack hope. In Man’s Search for Meaning, the late psychiatrist and death camp survivor Victor Frankl observed that we need to find more than just an understanding of our predicament. We also need hope and a purpose amidst our suffering:

• "The prisoner who had lost his faith in the future—his future—was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future, he also lost his spiritual hold; he let himself decline and become subject to mental and physical decay."

Frankl wrote that it is imperative that we find purpose in the midst of suffering. The negative has to be converted into a positive commodity – something that will motivate and place our focus on a valuable goal. For the death camp internee, the goal or focus should have been very clear – to survive, to be reunited with loved one, and to tell the story. However, long-term suffering often becomes very debilitating and hope-devouring.

The Late psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled, writes 15 years later about his journey from Zen Buddhism to Christianity. He had repeatedly observed that his Christian clients would improve, no matter how serious their psychiatric condition. He concluded:

• "The quickest way to change your attitude toward pain is to accept the fact that everything that happens to us has been designed for our spiritual growth…We cannot lose once we realize that everything that happens to us has been designed to teach us holiness…We are guaranteed winners!"

Ironically, the very One we reject is the very solution to our suffering. While the God of the Bible promises that we must go through suffering, He also helps us to bear it, promising:

• No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Cor. 10:13)

Consequently, when we reject God, we ultimately reject the only possible source of hope. When we realize that we are not alone, and that God is holding our hand, everything looks and feels differently. We know we will make it.

The Possibility of Living Coherent Moral Lives without God

My Response to someone who claims that God is not necessary in order to live coherent moral lives:

Thanks for this question:

• You really haven't explained why the source of the universe (according to you) is so important that one is obliged to be subservient to it.

We recognize that we have an obligation to our parents. They have loved us and have sacrificed for us. It would therefore be reprehensible for us to reject them after we have received from them what we want.

If there is a God, He has provided for us far more than our parents. Not only has He loved us and given us the air to breathe and the food to eat, He has also given us our parents and everything that is good. But He has also died for us, offering us forgiveness and a place with Him for all eternity.

While many respond that they have no evidence of this, they will not even seek and pray for the truth. If they believe in a “God,” they conveniently prefer to think of him as an amoral energy force – a god who makes no moral claims upon them and has no expectations.

However, there are loads of evidence for His existence and benevolence, but few will even consider them. Instead, many scorn the weighty evidences offered them, as the Bible claims:

• The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness,  since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.  For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. (Romans 1:18-20)

Fittingly, when they reject God they also reject the only possible foundation for meaning and morality. Instead, you suggest basing morality on the foundation of feelings of compassion:

• Some animals do get rights, and there are laws which prevent people from abusing or mistreating them. There are laws that deal with the protection of the environment too. Surely it is not in the interest of animals to suffer, and hence dealing with them as humanely as possible should be afforded. The basis for this can be found within the human experience of pain and the fact that animals too can feel it.

I gladly agree with your conclusion that our feelings of compassion tell us something about morality. However, our feelings cannot be the basis of morality. If we rape and murder and then feel guilty, our problem isn’t merely our guilt feelings or that we have violated a human law, but that our feelings inform us that we have violated a divine law. If law is merely a matter of feelings, we can find a pill that could get us through. If it is merely a matter of committing a crime, there are times and means to avoid the penalty. Instead, there must be Divine moral law.

Besides, if our feelings/intuitions are the source of morality and meaning, we must enshrine (normalize) all of our feelings – lust, hate, anger, selfishness. Of course, this leads to chaos and an always evolving moral code.

Well, what’s the matter with morals that evolve (are not objective)? Instead, of serving a higher moral truth, morality is then conscripted into service for us – a mere tool for our convenience. Who cannot become cynical about such an understanding! How can we be encouraged to sacrifice for such a code!