Arthur C. Brooks, a contributing writer at the New York
Times, warns about the growth of narcissism and its destructive effects:
- A 2010 study in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that the percentage of college students exhibiting narcissistic personality traits, based on their scores on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, a widely used diagnostic test, has increased by more than half since the early 1980s, to 30 percent.
Well, isn't self-love a good thing? Not necessarily! Brooks
warns:
- This is a costly problem. While full-blown narcissists often report high levels of personal satisfaction, they create havoc and misery around them. There is overwhelming evidence linking narcissism with lower honesty and raised aggression. It’s notable for Valentine’s Day that narcissists struggle to stay committed to romantic partners, in no small part because they consider themselves superior.
What is Brook's solutions?
- Ask, “Is this the person I want to be." Second, get rid of the emotional junk food that is feeding any unhealthy self-obsession. Make a list of opinions to disregard — especially those of flatterers and critics — and review the list each day. Resolve not to waste a moment trying to impress others, but rather to treat them (and yourself) with kindness, whether it is earned or not.
While these are good suggestions, I don't think that they
will work. We simply enjoy our egotism too much, and we will cling to this drug
tenaciously. Besides, it is just too difficult and foreign to our narcissistic
addiction to see ourselves as we truly are. In fact, it might be the most
difficult thing in the world.
Why does our narcissistic tendency continue to escalate?
Aren't we supposed to be ultimately self-absorbed? Isn't life supposed to be
primarily about advancing ourselves? This tends to place an unbearable burden
on us - worry and self-absorption.
Perhaps instead, we are designed for relatedness to be
other-centered to be focused, above all else, on advancing God's agenda. Jesus
argued that the narcissistic agenda would kill, while the God-centered agenda
was its very antidote:
- “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:28-33)
