Feeling good now takes precedence over thinking accurately.
Universities have caved to the pressures by creating safe places for students
to avoid exposure to conflicting ideas. Political correctness has displaced
questions of truth and open discussion. Comfortable and insulated self-delusion
is often the refuge provided by the psychotherapist. According to Psychology Today:
·
Self-esteem is one thing. But many psychologists
have been preaching the gospel of self-delusion. They argue it's actually
healthy to think more highly of yourself than reality warrants.
·
There's nothing wrong with feeling good about
oneself, of course. But when self-perception races ahead of reality, the likely
result is a socially inept misfit, warns Northeastern University's C. Randall
Colvin.
Colvin’s study concluded:
·
"Self-enhancers tend to be hostile, lack
social skills, and appear anxious and moody…They are sensitive to criticism and
keep people at a distance -- perhaps so that they don't get negative feedback
that might alter their overly positive view. They are trying to hide their
flaws from themselves."
·
"Positive self-esteem is good…But the
context has to be based on reality. Knowing that imperfections exist is the
first step to improving yourself."
The price for acquiring a heightened, feel-good self-esteem
might be more costly than suspected. Based upon this study, Psychology Today concluded:
·
All this suggests that artificially propping up
someone's self-esteem may provide a temporary mental boost -- but in the long
run stunts their social and personal well-being. (reviewed June 9, 2016)
This is not just the finding of one study, but of many, for
example:
·
In one study of nearly a million high school
seniors, 70 percent said they had “above average leadership skills, but only 2
percent felt their leadership skills were below average.” Another study found
that 94 percent of college professors think they do above average work. And in
another study, “when doctors diagnosed their patients as having pneumonia,
predictions made with 88 percent confidence turned out to be right only 20
percent of the time.”
·
25% of college students placed themselves in the
top 1%, relative to their ability to get along with others.
·
84% of Medical Residents thought that Doctors
influenced by gifts from pharmaceutical companies, but only 15% of the
respondents thought that they would be so influenced.
·
Psychologist Shelley Taylor writes, “Normal
people exaggerate how competent and well liked they are. Depressed people do
not. Normal people remember their past behavior with a rosy glow. Depressed
people are more even-handed…On virtually every point on which normal people
show enhanced self-regard, illusions of control, and unrealistic visions of the
future, depressed people fail to show the same biases.” (Positive Illusions, p.214)
We don’t suffer from a low self-esteem but an inflated and
costly one. The more we inflate ourselves, the more we need to endlessly justify
our inflated esteem and to maintain our façade, which reads, “Keep out. Truth
is not welcome here.”
It gets worse. In many cases, our entire worldview, our view
of reality is being consumed by the need to feel good. For example, the late
Margot Adler, a new-ager and self-proclaimed Pagan, explained the appeal of Paganism:
·
“They had become Pagans because they could be
themselves and act as they chose, without what they felt were medieval notions
of sin and guilt. Others wanted to participate in rituals rather than observe
themselves.” (Drawing Down the Moon)
Pagans/polytheists find a single truth and a monotheistic God
too imperialistic or coercive. Such a God, a Creator, requires us to live by
His requirements. Hence, we experience sin and guilt when we refuse.
In contrast, paganism allows us to pick-and-choose among
many different gods or spirits. It also gives us the freedom to believe what we
want. This puts us in the driver's seat, according to Adler:
·
Polytheism is…characterized by plurality…and is
eternally in unresolvable conflict with social monotheism, which in its worst
form is fascism and in its less destructive forms is imperialism, capitalism,
feudalism and monarchy.”
Truth and monotheism deprive us of our autonomy. Therefore,
they defy the spirit of our age where everything is permissible as long as it
feels good. This is the world of moral relativism, in which polytheism exerts
its appeal. Adler quoted a pagan priestess affirmatively:
·
It seems like a contradiction to say that I have
a certain subjective truth; I have experienced the Goddess, and this is my
total reality. And yet I do not believe that I have the one, true, right, and
only way. Many people cannot understand how I find Her a part of my reality and
accept the fact that your reality might be something else. But for me, this is
in no way a contradiction, because I am aware that my reality and my
conclusions are a result of my unique genetic structure, my life experience and
my subjective feelings…This recognition that everyone has different experiences
is a fundamental keystone to Paganism; it’s the fundamental premise that
whatever is going on out there is infinitely more complex than I can ever
understand. And that makes me feel very good.”
Why should this perplexing world make her "feel very good?"
Well, in this truth-less pagan world, no one can tell her that she's wrong. No
place for guilt or sin!
Despite this costly escapism, we need to feel that we are a “somebody.”
Do we have an alternative to self-deceit, the positive affirmations of our
goodness, or the relentless pursuit of success and respect? The Apostle Paul
argued that what we ultimately need is found in a relationship where truth is
wedded to our psychological needs:
·
But whatever was to my profit I now consider
loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss
compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose
sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ
and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the
law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes
from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his
resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him
in his death. (Philippians 3:7-9)
Paul was not arguing that his attainments were rubbish.
Instead, trusting in their merit
before God was rubbish. Considering himself more deserving than others, because
of his attainments, was rubbish and also self-deception.
I have found that the truth is painful. It is therefore no
surprise that we wear a feel-good mask to keep reality at bay and others from
seeing us as we really are.
I can now face myself and let others see me, but this is only because of the assurance that God, the Creator of all reality, loves me and has proved it by dying for me.
I can now face myself and let others see me, but this is only because of the assurance that God, the Creator of all reality, loves me and has proved it by dying for me.
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