As success increases, along with self-esteem, we face the
growing risk of pride and self-trust at the expense of God-trust. This threat
is especially present with Christians in leadership.
In God’s eyes, there was no one as righteous as Job, but
this didn’t exempt him from great trials. Perhaps, he needed these trials more
than others to humble him. The prophetic Elihu revealed to Job the reason for
his great suffering:
·
“So why are you bringing a charge against him?
Why say he does not respond to people’s complaints? He whispers in their ears
and terrifies them with warnings. He makes them turn from doing wrong; he keeps
them from pride. He protects them from the grave, from crossing over the
river of death.” (Job 33:13, 16-18 NLT)
I like to think that I’m in control and to trust that my
efforts will enable me to surf above the waves, but last night taught me again
that it cannot trust in my righteousness or the wisdom God had given me to keep
me safe. It was a perfect storm. I was unable to deliver myself from waves of
terror, which convinced that I could never again teach or comfort others with
the Word of God. Nothing was able to penetrate my fears - not my knowledge of
the Scriptures, prayer, or even Anita’s loving head rubs. It felt as if God had
forsaken me. Although, mentally I still believed that He loved me, I felt as if
there was absolutely no way that He could ever relieve me of the terrors that
had taken hold. I was in absolute meltdown, quickly submerging, and I saw no
way out.
Nevertheless, the Lord had warned us:
·
Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands
take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to
man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be
able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:12–13 ESV)
Suddenly, the Lord did provide a way of escape. I had been
so absolutely tormented that for two hours I feared having a stroke. But in a
flash He delivered me into the certainty that He is in control and that what I
had just endured was needful. It reminded me of Paul’s own cry:
·
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers,
of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened
beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we
had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on
ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly
peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver
us again. (2 Corinthians 1:8–10; 12:7-10)
Why did Paul share his personal meltdown? Because we all
must learn to transition beyond self-mastery to the brokenness of trusting in
God alone. This can only be learned as we continue to despair of ourselves – a horribly
painful but necessary element of our growth. Consequently, Jesus had taught
that blessedness belongs to those who have accepted their poverty of spirit and
neediness:
·
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is
the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be
comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are
those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” (Matthew
5:3–6)
Paul also had another reason for sharing his poverty of
spirit:
·
You also must help us by prayer, so that many
will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers
of many. (2 Corinthians 1:11)
We need one another!
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