Self-Deception and Awareness

  

“McPherson found that between 1985 and 2004, the number of people with whom the average American discussed ‘important matters’ dropped from three to two. Even more stunning, the number of people who said that there was no one with whom they discussed important matters tripled: in 2004, individuals without a single confidant now made up nearly a quarter of those surveyed” (The Lonely American, 2).
 In another study: “The total estimated number of people living with depression worldwide increased by 18.4% between 2005 and 2015 to 322 million, according to the World Health Organization. Nearly half of people living with depression live in the more highly-populated global areas...

Another study (2013) reported similar findings:...depressive illness is the disease with the second heaviest burden on society, with around one in 20 people suffering...[This] burden increased by 37.5% between 1990 and 2010...(The Guardian)

More recent findings seem to agree with this trend. This should surprise us in view of the proliferation of mental health services. Instead, they speak to us of the failure of secular counseling. Perhaps instead the answer lies in self-awareness as many have claimed? Carl Jung had written: “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

But do we want to awake to face ourselves? Can we truly be awake of our unquenchable addiction to inflate ourselves? Psychologist Harold Sacheim wrote: “Through distortion, I may enhance my self-image, not because at heart I am insecure about my worth but because no matter how much I am convinced of my value, believing that I am better is pleasurable.”

We do not need a psychologist to inflate us with self-affirmation. We already do that quite naturally. Psychologist Shelley Taylor had written:

“Normal people exaggerate how competent and well liked they are. Depressed people do not. Normal people remember their past behavior with a rosy glow. Depressed people are more even-handed…On virtually every point on which normal people show enhanced self-regard, illusions of control, and unrealistic visions of the future, depressed people fail to show the same biases.” (Positive Illusions p.214)

Self-deception is a powerful yet unseen addiction. Nevertheless, it is still pushed in many different forms disguising as self-awareness. Eckhart Tolle, mystic and New Age Guru had written: 

“Wisdom comes with the ability to be still. Just look and just listen. No more is needed. Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions.” 

However, Mindfulness Meditation, although exalting self-knowledge, carefully avoids self-knowledge. How? It instructs its practitioners to dissociate from any negative or judgmental observations in favor of the positive. Consequently, the acquired self-knowledge is highly unbalanced. This is reminiscent of the guiding principle of psychotherapy—Unconditional-Positive-Regard—which constrains the therapist to provide only the barest negative feedback but only in the form of probing questions. Sadly, both of these approaches feed our insatiable addiction for affirmation.

They also fill the vacuum created by the rejection of Christian love and forgiveness, which had previously enabled the sufferer to endure their guilt and inadequacies. In contrast, the Bible insists that nothing should remain hidden in our search for awareness

Proverbs 20:5-6 The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? 

But who is capable of drawing out what we have studiously repressed? Aldous Huxley, (1894-1963) had written: “If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful, and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.” (The Perennial Philosophy)

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) also added : There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know oneself. 

The Roman philosopher Seneca (4 BC-65) stated: “Other men's sins are before our eyes; our own are behind our backs.”

 Why do we run from self-knowledge? It is just overwhelmingly painful. The historian Arnold Toynbee wrote:  “Unless we can bear self-mortification, we shall not be able to carry self-examination to the necessary painful lengths. Without humility there can be no illuminating self-knowledge.” (A Study of History)

We live in the darkness of self-delusion: Proverbs 16:2 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit.

According to Jesus, we cannot tolerate the truth about ourselves: John 3:19–20 …”this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light of truth and does not come to the light lest his works should be exposed.”

These examples are not to say that self-awareness is not important but just elusive and often impossible and is necessary for everything we do and think. These all require accurate knowledge, like the captain who must know what conditions his ship can tolerate and what he can do in adverse conditions.

The Bible provides several illuminating portraits of how the fear of self-exposure is so overwhelming: That we  flee from the truth even to the point of self-destruction: Isaiah 2:20-22: In that day a man will cast away his idols of silver…21To go into the clefts of the rocks, and into the crags of the rugged rocks, from the terror of the LORD and the glory of His majesty, when He arises to shake the earth mightily.

 Rev. 6:15-16” Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. They called to the mountains and the rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb!” 

It is Christ who has enabled me to confront my gross self-deceptions—It was only His love and forgiveness that had sustained me through the terror of slowly coming into His Light—the most painful process I have ever experienced.

Seeking the Truth while Denying its Reality

I participated in a discussion group on “Spiritual Practices.” It was enlightening. I discovered that for everyone there, spirituality was merely a matter of either discovering oneself or connecting to an impersonal force.

Although there were some differences expressed, they largely agreed that spirituality wasn’t a matter of objective knowledge/truth, but rather experience/feelings. Objective spiritual truth didn’t exist. It wasn’t like the external force gravity, which did have an independent existence. Instead, spiritual “truth” or awareness came from within and just pertained to oneself.

I asked the speaker, “If spiritual ‘truth’ only pertains to oneself, why are we even here discussing the subject? After all, what you discover about yourself will not pertain to anyone else.”

He admitted that this was a problem, but then re-asserted that he didn’t think that there was any “recipe for living.”

Another jumped to his defense: “There cannot be any timeless spiritual truths, since everything is in flux. Change is the only truth.”

I wanted to answer, “Well, if everything is in flux, wouldn’t this also include your statement? Wouldn’t this ‘truth’ of endless change mean that your statement will only pertain to this moment?” However, I didn’t want to be too confrontational. Most of these people were really very lovely and gentle souls, unlike the people I have encountered at atheist meetings. In comparison with then, I saw myself as harsh and pugnacious. I didn’t want them to think me overly offensive.

It struck me that their rejection of any objective, universal, and unchangeable spiritual truths was quite limiting and counter-intuitive. Most would have probably admitted to the existence of the laws of science, while denying any laws of the spirit or morality. However, it became clear why they had such a disdain for spiritual truths. To them, it represented doctrine or dogma – something coercive and highly offensive.

Anthropologist Karen Brown, who wrote about her full-body dive into the embrace of Voodoo, helps us to understand the aversion towards doctrines/beliefs:

• No Haitian — certainly not Alourdes [the Voodoo priestess] — has ever asked me if I “believe” in Voodoo or if I have set aside the religious commitments and understandings that come from my childhood and culture. Alourdes’s approach is, instead, pragmatic: “You just got to try. See if it works for you.” The choice of relinquishing my worldview or adopting another in its entirety has therefore never been at issue.” (“Mama Lola: A Voodoo Priestess in Brooklyn!”)

While experience is not threatening – it is me-centered – beliefs and doctrines are experienced as coercive and centered on objective truths outside of ourselves. They imply a moral obligation to live according to these truths.

The group expressed their disdain for outside authorities, organized religion, and the “us vs. them” inherent within organized religion, as they painted a picture of their spiritual life.

Meanwhile, I was waiting my turn. I would give my testimony. I wasn’t too worried about that. Instead, I was more concerned about my inner poverty. I wasn’t touched by their confusion, their lost-ness. (Lord, help me! Even though I am not worthy of Your slightest grace, You have placed your undying love upon me!)

They failed to see that by rejecting the fruits of the mind in their spiritual search, they were also rejecting all hope of finding. By rejecting the mind, they were limiting themselves to sensuality and experience, perhaps like a mere animal. However, to hide this fact, they talked about living in the “here and now” as their spiritual goal. But life consists of more than the “here and now!”

By turning off the mind, they make themselves vulnerable to every form of demonic deception and confusion. For them, spirituality is an attempt to accept the uncertainty and lack of any real answers.

However, we need answers! We make hundreds of moral decisions a day, each one requiring an answer. How then do they manage? They must put their flight control on “automatic,” because there is no pilot at the helm.

Without any expectation of finding moral or spiritual truth, they scale back their expectations, but call it “getting in touch with self or a universal consciousness.” But what can they learn from this contact, apart from experiencing self? There are no truths to learn. Nothing to take away from their experience apart from a “knowledge” of how to find this experience again, like a squirrel who rehearses where he has buried his acorns. How then can they raise children or provide guidance to a friend?

All were intent on finding happiness, but for them, it was merely a product of finding “our own spiritual voice,” through a sensual form of self-knowing. Nevertheless, some expressed the realization that our behavior will impact how we feel. However, even here, they were reluctant to associate peace with conforming to moral laws or principles. They were confused!

I was next and gave my testimony:

• Spiritual exercises never worked for me; neither did my five highly recommended psychologists. For decades, I had been severely depressed, and this was followed by panic attacks. I was devastated.

I then told them about my life-changing encounter with Christ. To my great surprise, they didn’t bark-me-down but asked probing questions. The inevitable question finally emerged:

• When you refer to “Christ,” you are merely referring to your own experience, right? You’re not suggesting that He’s the truth for everyone, are you?

I answered:

• I must believe that He is the Truth. That He really loves me, protects me, forgives me, and will bring me home to be with Him in paradise. If I didn’t believe that this is the truth, I could not live with any joy or confidence.

I was amazed that they didn’t start screaming at me, lunging at me with knives. Instead, they even thanked me for sharing. Please pray for these blind “seekers.”