UNDERSTANDING FOR A BROKEN SPIRIT

I had been hoping that once I’d reach my 70s, my fleshly nature would mellow in a grandfatherly manner. However, the curmudgeon in me – irritations, annoyances, anger, and impatience – are making their unwelcome reemergence. I find this so troubling. They mock any hope that I might be becoming a more spiritual or worthy person and leave me with the awareness that I am not adequate to handle even the simplest tasks. However, this awareness has led me back to the Word:

·       So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away [“perishing,” NKJV], our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV)

I know that my focus has to be upon the things that are “unseen,” God and His promises, but what exactly must we perceive in this process? For me, it began with the question, “What does it means that our “outer self” is “wasting away” or “perishing?” Is it a matter of physical dying or is it a spiritual dying to the nature that had once held us captive through our blindness and Satan’s deceptions (Romans 7:11)? Paul seemed to associate our “dying” with the painful trials, which expose our sin and enable us to confess it:

·       [We are] always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. (2 Corinthians 4:10-11)

This is not a “death” that brings us to the grave but a “death” that perfects us into the image of our Savior. How does this work? This “death” reveals our utter need for Jesus and His gift of righteousness by showing us how inadequate we are (John 15:4-5; 2 Corinthians 3:5):

·       But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

We have been given this treasure of the Spirit and new life in very fallible and vulnerable human bodies. Why? So that we can see that it’s all about God and not about our goodness or spirituality. Affliction and persecution make this truth very apparent as part of my “daily bread,” and I need to experience these afflictions and persecutions lest I drift away from my dependence upon Jesus.

I think that Peter has shed light on this process:

·       In this [afflictions] you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory. (1 Peter 1:6-8)

What is accomplished by the testing of our faith? God already knows how we will respond. Instead, this testing is for us. It purifies our faith as fire purifies gold. How? Gold ore is loaded into a cauldron where it is melted down. This enables to the impurities to come to the surface so that they can be separated from the gold. To make fine gold, this process must be repeated, perhaps many times so that the gold will be purified.

This is also true for our faith. When we go through the fiery trials, our impurities come to the surface so that we can see them, grieve, and confess them, acknowledging that our hope is in God alone. This too must happen continually, because pride and self-righteousness so quickly sets in, without the fire of trials.

The most righteous man in all the earth, Job, also had to endure the fire, lest pride would separate him from his Savior. The fire brought out the decay which had been hidden from sight. Job began to bring self-righteous charges against God (Job 9:21-24; 10:2-3; 27:2-6; 16:12-17; 33:8-12; 34:5-6). However, after God confronted him with his self-righteousness and arrogance, Job sincerely confessed (Job 40:4-5; 42:3-6) and was restored. He had learned a lesson he would never forget and was enabled to receive an abundance of blessings without them corrupting him.

Paul had admonished us to not “lose heart” ( 2 Corinthians 4:16) over our vulnerability and inadequacies as earthen vessels (4:7). It is these teachings, which wean us away from self-trust and pride unto a dependence upon the Lord:

·       For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. (2 Corinthians 1:8-10)

It is this understanding that has enabled me to continue to trust in my Savior in view of my many and persistent failures. However, this understanding has also enabled me to love Him as my only Hope, the Hope for the utterly undeserving. By this Hope, He has also given me the courage to acknowledge my unworthiness despite my many self-imposed barriers against His Light.