I still have periodic meltdowns and self-despair. Mine are
due primarily from fears of failure and actual personal failures and weaknesses.
Yours might stem from other causes, but, in any case, experiencing painful
bouts of self-despair are needful (2 Corinthians 1:8-10; 4:7-11) and common to
all Christians.
Let me share with you the positive things that come forth
from these times of self-despair (SD). It teaches us:
To Trust in the Lord: 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 “For
we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in
Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of
life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But
that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.”
We love to be in control and to be convinced that we have
whatever it takes to “make it.” Paul had to learn that he was unable to cope
without the help of the Lord. If we are to trust in the Lord, we need to learn
this same lesson.
To Open our Eyes to the Words of God, as nothing else
can: Psalm 119:71-72 “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I
might learn your statutes. The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands
of gold and silver pieces.”
I know that I would never have submitted my heart and mind to
God’s Word unless I desperately need to. Instead, I would have trusted in my
own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
To More Deeply Appreciate God’s Love for Unworthy Me:
Psalm 34:18-19
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed
in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him
out of them all.”
His love and acceptance of me has enabled me to accept
myself, warts and all. Knowing that I am beloved has freed from the life-controlling
need to always have to prove I am worthy. His love has enabled me to be
authentic and to even boast in my infirmities and failures (2 Corinthians
12:7-10).
To Teach a Greater Gratitude: Psalm 71:23-24 “My
lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you
have redeemed. And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long,
for they have been put to shame and disappointed who sought to do me hurt.”
The more that SD teaches me that I cannot trust in my own
righteousness, the more I love Him. The more I perceive that I cannot make it
without Him, the more I adore Him for being there for me. This also pertains to
my wife. The more I despair of myself, the more grateful I am to have her. When
I thought more highly of myself, the more discontent I had been with her.
When I perceive, as the Psalmist had, that Jesus has
delivered me from despair and threat on so many occasions, I now trust He will
continue to deliver me. I am grateful for this.
My God has always rescued me from my meltdowns when all hope
was lost and only doom stood in my path. Therefore, I gladly praise Him.
However, in my earlier years as a Christian, I went through
such hard times that I had despaired of life. However, when the time was right,
He put an end to this unbearable suffering:
·
And after you have suffered a little while, the
God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will
himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10)
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