Before I married Anita, the pastor offered me a warning that
I've never forgotten:
·
Your wife is not your enemy. Even when you are
tempted to think this way, you must remember that she is not your enemy but
instead, your best friend.
This bit of wisdom has become very important to me. Why?
Because it sometimes feels as if she is my enemy, and our feelings can be a
stubborn misquito.
What then do we do when our feelings are speaking
persuasively? We meditate on something that is even more persuasive - the very
words of God. I have found that only these words are capable of silencing the
demands of my feelings. Take these precious verses:
·
In the same way husbands should love their wives
as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated
his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
because we are members of his body.(Ephesians 5:28-30 ESV)
What a blessed reminder. My wife is not my enemy but my
appendage, a part of me. When I get upset with her, it's like getting upset
with my own leg for not performing according to my expectations. How foolish
and unproductive! I don't berate or beat my leg.
Instead, if it doesn't perform up to expectation, I accept
my leg anyway, knowing that my Lord even has a purpose for my bum knee. I don't
spend my day thinking, "How I resent you, my leg."
Instead, I "nourish and cherish it." How much more
must I do so with my wife! I must love and cherish her as Christ does for His
Body, the Church, even to the point of sacrificing Himself for His bride.
When I fail to love my own bride in this manner, I despise
the grace of Christ who died for me while I was his enemy (Romans 5:8-10).
However, my wife is not my enemy but a friend and a blessed gift and flower to
nourish.
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